Joke time

[Oldrottenhead]

A Priest, a Doctor, a rich Businessman and a Scotsman were waiting one
morning  for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

The Doctor shouted to them, "I've never seen such poor  golf!"

The Scotsman chimed in, "Och aye! We ha' been waitin' for nigh on fifteen
minutes!"

The Businessman called out, "Move it on you guys, time is  money."

The Priest said , "Here comes George the green-keeper. Let's have a word
with him."

"Hello, George!" said the Priest, "What's wrong with  that annoying group
ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

George the greenkeeper replied , "Oh, yes..That's a group of  blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year.
We always let them play for free, anytime they want to."

The group fell into an embarrassed silence for a moment.

Then the Priest said , "That's so sad . I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight."

The Doctor said , "Good idea. I'm going to contact my  ophthalmologist
colleagues and see if there's anything they can do for them."

The Businessman replied , "I think I'll donate £350,000 to the Fire Brigade
Benevolent Fund in honour of these brave  souls."

And the Scotsman said , "Why kin they no play at night?

[Satchwood]

Haaa - that's a funny one !!!

[Wiley]

In this life I am a woman.  In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.  When you're a bear you get to hibernate.  You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate you get to eat everything you see.  I could also deal with that.

When you're a girl bear you birth your children, who are the size of walnuts. while you're sleeping. When you awake they are partially gown, cute, cuddly little cubs.  I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a  momma bear, everyone knows you mean business.  You swat at anyone who bothers your little cubs, and they listen to you. I could deal with that.

If your'e a bear, your mate expects you to wake up growling.  He expects that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.  Yes, i could definitely deal with that!!!

 

[Bluesberry]

Prog rock explained, this is too funny.

[Oldrottenhead]

progrock in a nutshel lmao

[danieldesete]

too funny indeed 

[Vanncad]

That's funny as all hell!

I guess I didn't really know what "prog" meant.

Thanks for clearing that up BluesBerry!

P.S. - I always though of "Tom Sawyer" as rock?

[guitarron]

i loved the Hocus Pcus video-that singer really spazzes out-lol

[Blooby]

The cover of the Mushroom Sword album was a great way to start the day. Wooby-woo, my ribs are killing me now.

Bloody hell, where did I put that new Transatlantic disc?

Blooby

[Ted]

Scathing and useful at the same time.  Thank you, Cracked.com!