Joke time

[Gnasty]

Caught this in someone's signature on a car forum... Made me laugh...

HAHAHAHA!! .................PRICELESS!!

[Ted]

[Oldrottenhead]

Movie Test


This maths test can predict your all-time most-watched movie. Mine was
"Gone with the wind".


Try it without looking at the answers. It's easy and really works:


Pick a number from 1 - 9.

Multiply by 3.

Add 3.

Multiply that by 3.

Add those two digits together.

Use that number to find your all time favorite movie in the list below.

































Your movie is:

1. Gone With The Wind.

2. Aliens..

3. Dances With Wolves.

4. Star Wars.

5. Forrest Gump..

6. Saving Private Ryan.

7. Jaws.

8. Doctor Zhivago.

9. The Joy Of Anal Sex with Male Goats & Leather Clad Gay Boys from Scotland..

10. Mary Poppins. 

[Geir]

I'm an engineer

[Gnasty]

I guess i should be glad i did bad in math now!!

[Saijinn Maas]

LMAO!!!

Wait... What... Oh.. okay.. Wait!   


LOL   Too funny...

[64Guitars]

Killer Biscuits

[Saijinn Maas]

These two really dumb guys decide to go hunting in the woods for deer. They come across several deer but missed all of them.

After spending all morning with nothing to show for it, first guy says to the other, "I'm starving, let's head home."

The second guy agrees, so they start to head back to where they thought they had left the car, but it was not there. They were lost.

So the second guy says, "I read in a book that if you get lost, fire two shots in the air and help will come."

So they fire two shots in the air. Two hours pass by and no help comes. So they fire another two shots in the air. Two more hours go by and still no help has come.

So the second guy says, "What the hell?! It says fire two shots in the air and help will come, but no help has come."

So the first guy says, "Maybe we should fire four shots in the air instead of two."




And the second guy says, "OK, BUT THIS BETTER WORK! 'CAUSE I'M RUNNING OUT OF ARROWS!!!"



 
 

[Gnasty]

Walked past a restaurant last night and on the window it said - 'Order anything you want, if we don't have it, we'll pay you $500'.

I went in and ordered 'Giraffes kneecaps on toast'.

A short while later, the waiter returned with a check for $500 in my name and said "It's your lucky day, we're out of bread."

[antisocialworker]

I dont know how many this one will offend... but here goes..
3 guys walk into a bar, a child molestor, a homo and a priest
then the other two walk in.