Just had to pass this on!

[StevieM]

Dare to tell me you wouldn't want to give the final answer the same on the last one??




Actual call centre conversations !!!!! 
 Customer:     'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'. 
Operator:     'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.  Customer:     'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.  Operator:     'Sir, they are our opening hours'.   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 Samsung Electronics 
Caller:          'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'  Operator:     'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'. 
Caller:          'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC  wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'  Operator:      'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.  ------------------------------------------------------------------ ---- 
 RAC Motoring Services 
Caller:          'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?' 
Operator:      ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'  ----------------------------------------------------------------------   

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):  'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'  ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 Directory Enquiries 
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.  Operator:   'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?' 
Caller:   'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.  ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
 Operator:   'Woven? Are you sure?' 
Caller:     'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.  ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:  'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.  ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 Tech Support:  'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.  Customer:   'OK'. 
Tech Support:  'Did you get a pop-up menu?'. 
Customer: 'No'. 
Tech Support:  'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'  Customer:     'No'. 
Tech Support:   'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'. 
Customer:   'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.  ----------------------------------------- ----------------------------- 
Tech Support:   'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?' 
Customer:   'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'  ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Caller:  'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.   ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------   
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed  from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'. 
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):    Operator:   'Ridge Hall, computer assistance with WordPerfect.' 
Caller:       'I'm having trouble'
Operator:     'What sort of trouble??' 
Caller:         'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' 
Operator:    'Went away?' 
Caller:        'They disappeared.' 
Operator:     'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'  Caller:          'Nothing.' 
Operator:      'Nothing??' 
Caller:          'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'  Operator:      'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'  Caller:            'How do I tell?' 
Operator:     'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'  Caller:          'What's a sea-prompt?' 
Operator:      'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' 
Caller:         'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' 
Operator:     'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'  Caller:         'What's a monitor?' 
Operator:         'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'  Caller:         'I don't know.' 
Operator:      'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'  Caller:          'Yes, I think so.' 
Operator:     'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. 
Caller:         'Yes, it is.' 
Operator:   'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'  Caller:        'No.' 
Operator:    'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' 
Caller:      'Okay, here it is.' 
Operator:   'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.' 
Caller:       'I can't reach.' 
Operator:   'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??
Caller:  'No.' 
Operator:    'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??' 
Caller:    'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.' 
Operator:   'Dark??' 
Caller:    'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
 Caller:   'I can't.' 
Operator:  'No? Why not??' 
Caller:    'Because there's a power failure.' 
Operator:  'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.  Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??' 
Caller:      'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' 
Operator:    'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.' 
Caller:      'Really? Is it that bad?' 
Operator:   'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' 
Caller:       'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'  Operator:   'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'