humans aren't the only species that like rough sex

[Speed Demon]

Slugs and Snails: Playing Cupid Is Less Romantic Than It Sounds
Like flatworms, snails and slugs are hermaphrodites that have to battle as part of their reproduction process. While they might not shake their penises at each other, their mating ritual is certainly just as strange.

For one thing, the creature's genitals are hidden on their necks behind their eye stalks. Since they don't actually have penises, they instead have an archery battle, shooting off so-called "love darts" at one another. The darts, made mostly from calcium, do not contain sperm, but instead cause the victim to become more receptive to the shooter's sperm, giving it an edge in sharing its genes with the next generation.
Shooting love darts can be rather dangerous and some victims have even been known to be shot in the eye and brain in the process –but don't worry, they survive, they just carry around a giant dart for a while.

Of course, dart shooting isn't the only weird bedroom behavior these invertebrates get into. The Banana Slug has a penis of around 6 to 8 inches, roughly the size of its full body. When fertilizing one another, the larger slug will often get his penis stuck inside the other. That would be bad in any situation, but the impatient partner makes it infinitely worse by biting off the offending member in order be able to get going a little bit sooner.

"Ooh, did I hurt you, baby?"

[Rata-tat-tat]

Where do you get this stuff Gene??? Idle minds at work... I love it!!!

[Speed Demon]

Rata, my advice: Even if you're drunk, try to avoid having sex with a snail.