Rock song idea (in the style of Zoltan)

[des0free]

I was fooling with my Zoom R24 Recorder with the distortion amp fx and had some riffs going and then thought: this needs some tough rock lyrics like Zoltan would typically write

Based on that thinking, here's what I have so far - but I think it would also sound better and more authentic if it was expanded and redone by Zoltan.

A5
Hot summer night
F5
Nothin to do
G5
Feelin so bad
A5
Till I saw you

A5
Hot leather skirt
F5
Fit so tight
G5
I went after you
A5
With all my might

D5-E5-A#5-A5 riff
Gimme some lovin
Gimme some lovin
Gimme some lovin
Gimme some lovin
 
Recorded mixed and mastered on Zoom R24

[Zoltan]

This actually sounds great! You're on a roll

It's catchy and to the point.

(Or maybe it really does remind something i might do and i'm so full of it that i'm liking it because of that! ).

I am tempted to touch it, but i think your vocals are what give it an edge.

[hardlock]

What? That's it? I expected this fine rocker to continue on for awhile. Good stuff, just not enough!

(I stand corrected - didn't realize I was in the colab section! - Great idea none the less!)

[Farrell Jackson]

A good start Des. Add another verse or two and a solo break then you'll have a complete song. I like what I'm hearing!

[Zoltan]

I threw your song idea under the buss Here's a quick sketch!

It's not a proper mix and i had to kinda whisper the demo vocs.

[des0free]

Hey, that's really cool!  Much elevated over my initial little crumb that I couldn't figure out what to do with.  I can't understand why you wouldn't want to sing the vocals very loudly, though?  Didn't want neighbors, spouses, children, in-laws, etc. to hear the endearing, thoughtful lyrics? 

[Zoltan]

I can't understand why you wouldn't want to sing the vocals very loudly, though?

New home. I'm not yet sure about the sound proofing. I'm sure it's fine, but i don't want to start by (potentially) annoying the neighbors. I'd rather wear them down little by little.

ALSO due to schedules i've been playing mostly at ungodly hours.

The way the song plays now turned it into teen pop.

The lyrics don't bother me one bit!

[StephenM]

I'd rather wear them down little by little.

that is so funny...

this song rocks ... I don't know the outcome but I think you should both do this... like do the same verse or write another and have one sing one and the other the other... and both sing on the chourus...

this rocks and truly I can't really tell that both of these are the same song... cool