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Here's a new song - kinda dark - definitely not about a walk in the park.  I'm trying to get myself to sing more...so this is my first cut.  The lyrics I used are from Maverick31's cool writings...


"Evil Inside"  Music & vox by Tommy Satchwood, Words by Justin Maverick c2010

- intro solo -

Verse 1:
The thoughts inside my head will explode
Pull them all out before I grow cold
You say that it's over, but how did we start?
These foolish games now are breaking my heart

Where is the touch that chills my skin?
I want to feel her, but love makes me spin...

  Chorus:
  Look in my eyes, there's evil inside
  You run away fast, but where will you hide?
  Take my hand now there's nothing to fear
  If you don't want my love, then why are you here?

- solo -

Verse 2:
My mind is wandering, the evil brain
But in your eyes my thoughts are insane
It's time to decide, i know the price
When she come near, her touch, cold as ice

But the pain must continue, will it ever go?
Till it starts all over we'll never know...

  Chorus:
  Look in my eyes there's evil inside
  You runaway fast, but where will you hide?
  Take my hand there's nothing to fear
  If you don't want my love, then why are you here?

- Outro solo and fade -

Well Tommy,
You did a killer job on this.
Makes me think of Black Sabbath, or at least Ozzie's stuff.
Straight to my mp3 player....

LG

I love it! It has a great 80s hard rock sound and feel to it. Right up my alley! Good production, maybe cut the guitars back just a bit, but otherwise sounds great!

Tommy, it's great! Nice guitar riffs and superb solo work, but that's no surprise. The surprise is that it's great to hear you singing and your voice (from what I can hear) sounds very good and has a lot of potential. You are pretty much in pitch and have a nice vibrato going on there, you just need to get a bit more confidence in your delivery and that will come. There are some really nice parts when your voice goes higher that work really well. Excellent, please keep doing more.

A few production thoughts just for your consideration - don't overdo the effects, there's a bit too much echo/reverb on the vox for me and the vox a re a little lost on the mix. You could push them up a bit, but I think it's more to do with the EQ - the vox sound is a little "thin" to me in the mid ranges. If you could beef the mid ranges up, you might find the vox would cut through a bit more without having to push the volume up.

BTW, I love the dark nature of the song, great lyrics that really suit what you've put together here, well done. I hope Justin likes it!

Cheers,

Nigel

This is a great tune man :) It reminds me of Dokken at times (hope your not offended, I was a fan back in the day at any rate). I'm no great singer, but practice everyday it gets easier and easier, so keep it up man, sounds great.

 Not sure if you do this or not, but I record my Vocals dry usually and bounce effects on after, makes it easier to fit into the final mix for me.


 

This is way too cool - I feel a little Dokken here as well.

The chorus riff is to die for!! (Sounds like I'm eating a chocolate cake, doesn't it?). Nigel is right, maybe a little eq to boost the vox more, but I am really impressed with the end results so don't get me wrong. You're kicking ass in that department now.

Oh, and the bass line is so 80's!!!!! Love it - Chugging, bumping, grinding, freakin' awesome! I strive to do it like that.

Overall, I'd say you are the freakin' man, bro. Combined with Justin's lyrics, this song takes it to another level.

Straight to PiePod, do not pass go, do not collect $200.  8)


Mark

You took the lyrics and really put an evil sound to it!!  Stunning!
Everything you touch turns "golden"!!

Thanks for the listen and nice words, LG - Black Sabbath or Ozzie - wow I'm humbled !!

Thank you Bob for the 80s hard rock comment - very cool!!  I think your right, I'm drowning my vox out a bit at times.  practice practice practice...

Hey Nigel, thanks for the kind words and pointers - I need them and appreciate them!!  I definitely need to build up some more confidence in my delivery!  I'll try bumping the eq on the mids and see if it helps - your probably right, cuz I believe I bumped the highs up to 3+, probably thinned them out - thanks!  The echo delay was supposed to help the vox sound scary - and i probably over did it some.  Thanks for the fantastic production improvement input!!

Thank you for the Dokken reference Dmann - one of my favorites!! - I really dig George Lynch's guitar playing and have learned several of their tunes.  I don't think I'll ever sing like Don Dokken though - maybe with some helium help...lol  I would luv to see a Dokken/Lynch reunion!

I haven't tried recording my vox dry yet and adding fx later - that will be a new process for me that I'd really like to try.  That way I can fiddle with the fx and try different things - great input, thanks!

Thank you Mark for the nice comments as well - were you eating chocolate cake? lol I am really flattered by the Dokken remarks here too!!  Lynch does do a lot of chugging type rhythms that I really like.  Still haven't bought a bass yet, so that was all done on my Yamaha keyboard - so maybe I'm developing as a keyboard bass player ahhh!  

I really like Justin's lyrics and I hope he likes this too - I may try another version using my keyboard as the primary instrument to see which version he likes better...

Thank you PJ for your kind words!!  I was trying to get that evil sound in my vox - thanks for picking up on that!  I don't know if this was golden, but I hope it was a little scary sounding - my singing on here sure scared me  :D

this is magic tommy, i agree with nigel re the effects on the vox. from personal experience i used to do that due to lack of confidence in my singing abilities, i still do it tho, but it can make it hard to hear the words.

i can see alice cooper singing this.

Thanks Satchwood! You have is much talent, it's crazy!

If you do re-record the song, don't just fill the song full of piano (like the whole song), but use it to suplement the intro, and maybe the ending. Of course through some in between. It's all up to you, really. I do like the version a lot though, that's for sure. You're a musical genius.

I'd also like someone here to see if they can make a song using these lyrics...
https://songcrafters.org/community/index.php?topic=5910.0

Even if the words need to be tweeked a bit.

Woops, I also wanted to point out that your voice sounded outstanding... especially for this type of song. I don't think I would really want you to change that, it fit perfectly.
The more I hear you sing, the better you get... and right now, I'm very impressed!

Great job once again!

-Justin (aka, Maverick31)

Well done to the both of you. Satch that sick guitar work is off the hook. Keyboard bass player huh? The bass was really good. Your vocals have impressed me lately. It takes a lot of guts to sing. You're taking the bull by the horns there and letting loose. That's awesome.

Quote from: Tony W on January 25, 2010, 11:44:29 AMWell done to the both of you. Satch that sick guitar work is off the hook. Keyboard bass player huh? The bass was really good. Your vocals have impressed me lately. It takes a lot of guts to sing. You're taking the bull by the horns there and letting loose. That's awesome.

Yeah, his vocals are awesome! Once I get the cash together, I'll be buying what I need to post up my vocal ability (inability), lol. I mean, one day I'd at least like to sing my own lyrics (if my voice permits it).
But so far, people making songs using my lyrics is so wonderful, it's just amazing... I never thought I'd be any good as a writer.

Insane and great at the same time.  Great to hear your singing voice Tommy.  Lots to like about the vocals, keep singing man.  What a guitar workout.

Satch,

Some real hard rockin' going on here!

H E A V Y

(http://bewealthminded.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/weight-lifting.jpg)

Maybe we could even get a touch of metal in there, with piano?
There are a lot of possibilities... who knows, maybe acoustic?

http://cgi.ebay.com/BOSS-MICRO-BR-Digital-Recorder-Multi-track-Recorder_W0QQitemZ350307111180QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item518fee510c (http://cgi.ebay.com/BOSS-MICRO-BR-Digital-Recorder-Multi-track-Recorder_W0QQitemZ350307111180QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item518fee510c)

The deals are out there Justin! All you need to do is jump on and catch the train. Out of curiosity, do you play any instruments?

Very Cool!!  Rockin Dokkenlike Tune!!  Vocals sound great and
Guitar Rippin is On fire as usual!

JFJ  Jim from Jersey

Quote from: Tony W on January 25, 2010, 12:47:02 PMhttp://cgi.ebay.com/BOSS-MICRO-BR-Digital-Recorder-Multi-track-Recorder_W0QQitemZ350307111180QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item518fee510c (http://cgi.ebay.com/BOSS-MICRO-BR-Digital-Recorder-Multi-track-Recorder_W0QQitemZ350307111180QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item518fee510c)

The deals are out there Justin! All you need to do is jump on and catch the train. Out of curiosity, do you play any instruments?

Nope, never played any. I would like to become a singer if my vocals turn out to be okay... and continue creating lyrics. I seriously wrote my first 7 lyrics/poems in two days... then I wrote another one yesterday (I think).
I've never written poetry in my life, so this was a first for me, and I was seriously suprised that people liked what I wrote. Of course I must learn things about how to structure lyrics, because I have know idea. But it's a start. For me this is my new emotional release... before it was racing cars, but that got me into a bit of trouble, so this seems like a better outlet. Besides, I've always felt seriously passionate about music... especially music that lyrically touches me.

One thing you'll find as a commonality on this site is passion. Everyone here is passionate about their music, and quite a few are passionate about others too. It's quite apparent that you are catching the bug. You've got some really good musicians interested in your work thus far. That's a hell of a start, not to mention signing up the local shred king to collab with!

Wow! Cool playing and singing! Tommy, I listened your playing - also your rhythm gtr and it sounded real good. (Your solo gtr hais been always great). And Maverick, your lyrics are really good!

-Kari

WOW Tommy !!!!!! WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Freaking marvelous !!!! Great song, playing (as we're getting used to) is brilliant, and that vox is really great. So good to hear you sing. Like James I also used to overdo the FX on the vox, but have learned that less is more when it comes to getting the vox to best fit in the mix.

use AndyR's tip on how to get the vox to sit in the mix, then you don't need to much fx!!


Great lyrics too !! Good to have a poet amongst us!

Quote from: Geir on January 25, 2010, 01:59:56 PMGreat lyrics too !! Good to have a poet amongst us!

I would not call myself a poet yet... I've only written 8 over 3 days, and I know nothing about how to write it, let alone writting lyrics.
But thanks.

Superb once again Tommy, the guitar playing is right up there with the standards we have come to expect from you, and your vocal was a real pleasant surprise...very good and very distinctive.

Holy cannoli, Tommy - you knocked this one outta the frickin' park!!  :o  Beautiful job on the vocals as well as the music - top notch stuff.

And a tip of the hat to Maverick31 - you seem to be inspiring quite a few of the artistes on the forum!

Quote from: cuthbert on January 25, 2010, 04:38:48 PMHoly cannoli, Tommy - you knocked this one outta the frickin' park!!  :o  Beautiful job on the vocals as well as the music - top notch stuff.

And a tip of the hat to Maverick31 - you seem to be inspiring quite a few of the artistes on the forum!

Thanks, that means a lot to me... you should check out my latest poem.

Very Cool Tune!!!!!










Great Job!!

A dream team Collab!

Thanks man, Satchwood really did an excellent job doing this song... It must be very hard using someone other than your self's words, then trying to create and sing to it.
Satchwood is the man...

Good one.

This is absolutely cool. Good job all around you two. The music sounds Yngwie-RATT like. And the lyrics i can relate to, cuz of the certain kind of women i meet..HAHA

WELL DONE!!

Wow.  You really know your way around that guitar.  That's some impressive playing.  The rhythm stands out really well too.  It doesn't sound like it's just there to carry the lead.   Good to hear your vocals also - you've got the whole package now.  I didn't realise there was someone here who supplied lyrics.  That sounds like a great idea - like a lyric bank.  Great stuff.

Mike

I'd be down for doing a lyric bank... until I have some recording material.

Wow Satch - seriously good guitar work here bro! You've got the Ratt/Dokken sound down man!

Cool lyrics too Maverick.

Quotei can see alice cooper singing this. - ORH

- my thoughts exactly!

Thank you for the cool references guys: Yngwie-Ratt, Ratt/Dokken, Alice Cooper, Ozzie !!  

Feel free to do your own version/s, using Mavericks cool lyrics - I know there's much better singers on this site then me, I just want to stretch a bit and learn...definitely got a way to go in the singing department...

Vann - I can hear you singing on this - you got that great rock voice for sure - if you care to collab or just do your own version, that would be cool!  

I only used some of Maverick's lyrics on this, his full lyric is posted here, if your interested in giving it a go:

https://songcrafters.org/community/index.php?topic=5805.0

Some really nice guitar playing here, it really does sound dark!
Congrats on a great song!

Missed this one great job Tommy you,really taken some great liryics and turned it into a monster metal track, a great listen.

Wow Wow Wow !
Tommy, you guys smoked that one. The solos where off the chart and lyrics just sick.
Nothing else to say but, Sick.
Keep'm coming.

-Nelson

Quote from: Nelson on February 01, 2010, 07:05:07 PMWow Wow Wow !
Tommy, you guys smoked that one. The solos where off the chart and lyrics just sick.
Nothing else to say but, Sick.
Keep'm coming.

-Nelson

Thanks for the comments! But Satchwood deserves all of the credit here... he's the one that put it all together.

Excellent , does have a sabbath feel for definate , excellent axe Tommy , and justin you may just have found an outlet for your dark lyrics , METAL
PS have been working on a song with this poem myself , but completly the opposite genre more Folk
Well done both

Rob

Wow Satchwood another superb recording i love the guitar chops and the lead harmonics !!! its rocks man !! Youre vocals are cool just right for the song and it is Aussie material for sure , i can see the stage lit up with lights and dry ice spilling over the stage !!

PJD1