A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, "Wow, you've got a steering wheel sticking out of your pants!" The pirate replies, "Aaaarghhh, it's been driving me nuts all day!" ;D
;D ;D ;D
"that joke is "actually" funny" says randy
I laughed out loud when I heard that! My wife was in the other room. When I told it to her she said, "You would laugh at something like that!" ;D Yes I would!
A club sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
A duck walks into a bar, say's to the barman "Got any fish?"
"Sorry" say's the barman, we don't sell fish. The duck walks out.
The next day the duck walks into the bar again, "Got any fish?"
"Look, I told you yesterday, we don't sell fish, go away"
The next day the Duck goes back in to the bar "Got any fish?"
"Bugger off, and don't come back, WE DON'T SELL FISH" The barman shouted.
The next day the duck walks in again "Got any fish?"
The barman, absolutely livid by now, say's " You ask me for fish again I'll nail your beak to the bar".
"Got a hammer?" asks the duck
"No" said the barman
"Got any fish?"
A neutron went into a bar and asked the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."
Quote from: StevieM on February 10, 2009, 01:24:10 PMA duck walks into a bar, say's to the barman "Got any fish?"
"Sorry" say's the barman, we don't sell fish. The duck walks out.
The next day the duck walks into the bar again, "Got any fish?"
"Look, I told you yesterday, we don't sell fish, go away"
The next day the Duck goes back in to the bar "Got any fish?"
"Bugger off, and don't come back, WE DON'T SELL FISH" The barman shouted.
The next day the duck walks in again "Got any fish?"
The barman, absolutely livid by now, say's " You ask me for fish again I'll nail your beak to the bar".
"Got a hammer?" asks the duck
"No" said the barman
"Got any fish?"
;D He he he he!
Quote from: beleg on February 10, 2009, 01:57:38 PMA neutron went into a bar and asked the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."
Wow....geek humor....on
this cool site, too! LOL very cute. :)
An atom walks into a bar and says "Help, I've lost an electron!". The barman says "Are you sure?". The atom replies: "Yes, I'm positive."
More geek humour.....
Quote from: Ferryman_1957 on February 12, 2009, 10:22:23 AMAn atom walks into a bar and says "Help, I've lost an electron!". The barman says "Are you sure?". The atom replies: "Yes, I'm positive."
More geek humour.....
;D Why is it that before I came to this forum I'd never met a geek that was musical?? LOL ::)
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The two men take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas.
The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eyepatch. He asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?
"Well," replied the pirate, "while my men and I were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant. I was arrested and my hand was cut off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eyepatch?"
"A sea gull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook..."
;D ;D ;D
A horse walks into a bar. The barman says whats up with you, the horse replies, nothing Im fine. The barman says so why the long face
A man walks into a bar with a peice of tarmac (asphalt) under his arm and says to the barman:
"Gimme a beer and a whisky for the road".
An englishman, scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar.
The barman says is this some sort of a joke?
A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say, "Nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender. A few sips later the voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over. "Hey, I must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here but us."
"It's the peanuts," answered the bartender. "They're complimentary."
So this pirate walks into a bar and sits next to a drunken wench.
The wench looks him over and says, "Nice pirate outfit. Where'd you get your earrings?"
The pirate says, "Arr, I bought one from the dollar store on the other side of town and I got the other from the dollar store across the street."
So the wench exclaims, "Wow! Not bad for a buck-an-ear!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bar tender says, "What's with the paper towel?" The pirate says, "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"
Keep digging - you'll be at rock bottom soon!
But you're still raising a smile.....
Quote from: beleg on March 03, 2009, 08:01:46 AMA pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bar tender says, "What's with the paper towel?" The pirate says, "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"
He he he....a bounty on his head...brilliant!
Quote from: beleg on February 13, 2009, 08:03:27 AMA man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say, "Nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender. A few sips later the voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over. "Hey, I must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here but us."
"It's the peanuts," answered the bartender. "They're complimentary."
I did as a matter of fact, start to laugh.. ALONE!
By my self in my room!!
(that means its a good joke).. Erh Jesus you get the point :)
A pirate walks in to a bar and buys everyone in the place a round. As the bartender pours the drinks he asks the pirate, "So, what is the reason for this celebration"? The pirate says, "Arr, I am happy because I am changing professions. A Pirates life is no longer for me". "Ohh" said the bartender, "what is your new job going to be?" The pirate replies "I am going to be a professional boxer; people have been telling me for years that I have a killer left hook"
i guy goes into a bar and sez to the barman.
can i use your toilet?
of cousrse sez the barman.
it's just i take salts sez the guy.
dont worry about it sez the barman.
at the end of the night the barman is locking up the bar going round switching off all the lights, when he goes into the gents toilets, there is shit everywhere. on the floor on the ceiling on the walls.
next night they guy comes into the bar, the barman asks him, hey buddy what kind of salts do you take?
somersaults sez the guy.
I used to work in bars. One night a guy walked in and placed a tiny piano on the bar. I asked what it was for, so he pulled a box out from under his coat and from the box he pulled out a very small man, just big enough to sit on the bar and play the tiny piano. I said, "wow, where did you get that?" and so he pulled out a small bottle. "it's a genie bottle" he explained. "Give it a rub", so I rubbed the bottle and sure enough, out came a genie and said "make a wish". I thought for a minute and said "I wish for a million bucks". POOOF. Smoke everywhere and suddenly there was a million DUCKS flying all around the room, quacking, crapping everywhere. I said "You idiot, I asked for a million Bucks, not Ducks!" The guy with the bottle replied..." You think I asked for a nine inch pianist?"
Ahhhhhhhhhh that's funny s.w.goatlips!!!
Awesome joke Goatlips!
a man with a wooden eye walks into a dance club and with his good eye, sees an atractive lady with a prosthetic leg who is not dancing.
walks up to her and asks "Care to dance?"
not getting many invites, she excitedly replies, "Would I?"
"Peg leg!" he retorts.
LMSAO
8)
Quote from: mr2cool on January 04, 2010, 02:38:39 PMnot getting many invites, she excitedly replies, "Would I?"
"Peg leg!" he retorts.
bwaahahahhah
I bet he'll never go down on one knee.
*boom tish*
Quote from: mr2cool on January 04, 2010, 02:38:39 PMa man with a wooden eye walks into a dance club and with his good eye, sees an atractive lady with a prosthetic leg who is not dancing.
walks up to her and asks "Care to dance?"
not getting many invites, she excitedly replies, "Would I?"
"Peg leg!" he retorts.
LMSAO
8)
That took me entirely too long and too many reads to get. It's still funny as hell though!
Quote from: Migs on January 04, 2010, 02:54:21 PMbwaahahahhah
I bet he'll never go down on one knee.
*boom tish*
And that's awful! I got it before the first joke!
Quote from: Tony W on January 04, 2010, 08:03:06 PMQuote from: mr2cool on January 04, 2010, 02:38:39 PMa man with a wooden eye walks into a dance club and with his good eye, sees an atractive lady with a prosthetic leg who is not dancing.
walks up to her and asks "Care to dance?"
not getting many invites, she excitedly replies, "Would I?"
"Peg leg!" he retorts.
LMSAO
8)
That took me entirely too long and too many reads to get. It's still funny as hell though!
humor, however slight
8)