"You Don't Know What You're Talking About" -- original by Ted

[Ted]

You Don't Know What You're Talking About
© 1994, 2010 Ted Johnson, Ron Besore

Recorder: Started on a BR 600; finished on a Micro BR
Acoustic Guitar, Bass, Piano, Voice: Ted
Guitar: Dave Stack
Drums: Micro BR, STD2
Guitars: Epiphone Les Paul, Yamaha Acoustic
Bass: Michael Kelly acoustic
Piano: Yamaha Clavinova

He was just like you,
This ten-year-old who made me back down.
He said he'd bet me a million dollars
The Canadian army could whip us in a war.

He was just like you.
I sat down once and added them up.
If he worked those years at all of those jobs
The old mooch would be two-hundred-and-ten.

You don't know what you're talking about.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Maybe you're so slick even you don't doubt, but
You don't know what you're talking about.

I was like you too
The time I sold my huge blue car.
When it blew smoke from the air conditioner,
I said, "It needs freon; the compressor is fine."

You don't know what you're talking about.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Just because you made a couple bimbos put out
Don't mean you know what you're talking about.

You may have the gift of gab,
But when you speak I see that ten-year-old
Playground pontificator
Menacing me with a maple leaf,
Head too big for his baby teeth.

He was just like you,
This ten-year-old who made me back down.
He said he'd bet me a million dollars
The Canadian army could whip us in a war.

You don't know what you're talking about.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Maybe you're so thick even you don't doubt, but
You don't know what you're talking about.

You don't know what you're talking about.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Just because you made a couple bimbos put out
Don't mean you know what you're talking about.

This was co-written with Ronwhistle (the same as School Bus).  It's been on the shelf a long time. Never recorded until now.

My friend Dave bought a BR 600 and wanted me to help him figure it out. I chose this song to be our experiment. We weren't done before Dave had to go back home, so I exported the tracks and I finished on the MBR.

[Geir]

WOW another Ted post !! This must be good !

And it is !!! Catchy and clever.

Cool riffs, fab arrangement.

Great performance !!

Fantastic tune !!

Please tell me that you used a piano for that piano sounds !!

[Donna D]

Oh! Catchy for sure!   Great tune, Ted, and clever lyrics.
Lotsa good lines but I especially like this imagery:

You may have the gift of gab,
But when you speak I see that ten-year-old
Playground pontificator
Menacing me with a maple leaf,
Head too big for his baby teeth.

Well done all round.

Donna

[AndyR]

Superb, Ted

Geir, unless he's neglected to mention a piano in the blurb, I think that piano's the acoustic guitar...  , I want that sound! (it's a really good hook by the way ...)

EDIT: And the lyrics... just... wow!

[Bluesberry]

Dang Ted, fantastic song.  For such an off the cuff song, this one really soars, great recording here.  I am sure your friend is hooked now, to have a song as strong as this in one session is incredible.  You guys should get together more often, there is a real good feel here, it breathes and grooves.

[Ted]

Oops. I forgot to mention the piano in the info area. I updated it.  I wish I had a cheap toy piano. That's the sound I really wanted to hear in there.

@Donna: Most of these lyrics are 15 years old, but that line about "Menacing me with a maple leaf" is a new tweak. I must admit I was pretty satisfied with that one.  I sometimes forget how effective a simple image can be.  I didn't mean it literally, but now I can't help but imagine a blustering punk kid waving a maple leaf in my face as though it were a detonator.

BTW: Dave lurks. But I don't think he has an account.  Hi Dave!  He and I need to figure out how to swap files for collaboration.  I'm sure we can figure it out.

[Satchwood]

Catchy groove goin and cooL lyrics Ted !!   Nice production and performances by you both!

[Ferryman_1957]

Great stuff Ted, hugely infectious piano and guitar riffs that play so well off each other. Love the bass as well and the whole thing is quirky, catchy and really inventive. Agree with Donna, some very cool lyrics in there and overall this is another fabulous track from Ted (and Dave). Hope we get some more like this soon.....

Cheers,

Nigel 

[cuthbert]

This is mighty, Ted. 

Huge production, and a story with universal appeal - this will be getting more play from me.

[Redler]

Awesome song! I listened this first time in the morning. This second listening 'opened' it more to me! A lots of nice flavors all around, like that piano riff and the lead guitar on the chorus. Nice collab, Ted and Dave!

Kari