"Over There" original by Hardlock - Is this anything?

[hardlock]

Hi all, Here's my latest attempt at music.  I'm torn about it however as it's been a real battle at times and something in it bugs me but can't put my finger on it (and not just my bad singing either....)

All comments welcome as I'm hoping to learn something from this one.
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"Over There"
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I'm over here
   You're over there
It's still not clear
   what is fair

I'm over there
   You're over here
I know you care
   Don't live in fear
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Where you go
   There your are
You should know
   You won't get far

Find a way
   To get on track
If you don't
   Might not get back
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Gone over hill
   and over dale
Don't get lost
   you won't prevail

You can run
   but you can't hide
Take my word
   Cause I have tried
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Can't see the forest through the trees

You've lost direction so I'm begging you please

Don't hear you praying so get up off your knees

With full perspective comes reality
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[mr2kewl]

this is tight!!

totally diggin it!!!

and...

imho, not a thing wrong or anything you could put a finger on.

BTW - smooth guitar licks.

[Kenneth]

Here's my latest attempt at music.  

This isn't an attempt, this IS music! Good music!
It's a great song and the singing is good, but maybe you just need a higher harmonizing vocal with it. Great, great guitar pickin too, man I wish I had your chops!

[Redler]

Brilliant tune with great lyrics!! REAL music!! The chorus is a killer - so catchy and I loved the chords on it. Guitars are great as well!

Kari

[lg]

Just needs the vox raised up a tad and it will be perfect!
I love it.

LG

[hardlock]

Thanks a lot everyone!  Your good words keep me going!

Ken, when you say "you just need a higher harmonizing vocal" do you mean over the original or as an echo of it?  I see what you mean either way to balance it out.  Thanks!

[Tangled Wires]

This is very impressive, the vocal and guitar melodies combine very well, although would also like to hear the excellent vocal brought up a tiny bit.

Some very tidy lead guitar playing in there too which bridge the vocal sections together very effectively.

[launched]

I love the trite verse lines, very cool. And the weighting of the rhythm goes well with the drums.

The vocals are great, I think. And that bass line is awesome!

Mark

[Satchwood]

Cool jazzy blues guitar and singing!!   The vocals get a bit lost in the mix,; really digging the guitar work ~  i think you should play a bit more at the end, sounds great!

[Kenneth]

when you say "you just need a higher harmonizing vocal" do you mean over the original or as an echo of it? 

I think probably because it's sang in a lower register, it sounds quieter on my system. They could be brought up a little bit. Great song, very catchy, the guitar work is terrific.