Bass jokes

[dasilvasings]

Well, I'm a bassist myself. This jokes are told by envious guitar players. I'm just writing them down.

An explorer is entering unchartered Africa in the XIX century.
He brings his cargoers and a native guide.
First week - nothing relevant.
Second week, he starts to hear some drums in the middle of the jungle. Nervous, he asks the guide's opinion:

"no worries, everything's ok"

Third week, he continues to hear the drums, far far away. He is actualy staring to get used to it, when suddenly the drums stop.

General panic! The cargoers and the guide leave everything behind and start to run away in panic. The explorer manages to catch the guide and asks:

"drums stop. What now?"
"very bad! drums stop, bass solo"

[Flash Harry]

Q. What do bassists use for contraception?

A. Their personality.

[dasilvasings]

Just been to the jokes thread!

Godverdoeme, my joke was already there!


A scientific expedition disembarks from its plane at the final outpost of civilisation in the deepest Amazon rain forest. They immediately notice the ceaseless thrumming of native drums. As they venture further into the bush, the drums never stop, day or night, for weeks. The lead scientist asks one of the natives about this, and the native's only reply is "Drums good. Drums never stop. Very bad if drums stop." The drumming continues, night and day, until one night, six weeks into the trip, when the jungle is suddenly silent. Immediately the natives run screaming from their huts, covering their ears. The scientists grab one boy and demand "What is it? The drums have stopped!" The terror-stricken youth replies "Yes! Drums stop! Very bad!" The scientists ask "Why? Why? What will happen?" Wide-eyed, the boy responds, " . . . BASS SOLO!!!"

[Frank53]

This is a true story, but it could have been a bass joke. Years ago a friend of mine went to see a punk band that a friend of his played in. He noticed that the bass player only had 3 strings on his bass. On a break he commented to the guy about having only three strings, "That's OK", he replied. "I only use two anyway".