Seventies Mishap w/oldrottenhead

[Blooby]

Scroll down for oldrottenhead's addition.

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I had this vision of a 70's power trio kind of thing, and this is wanting something.  I know not what.  When I go back I'll dirty up the bass and change the rhythm tone.  If I could sing like Paul Rodgers, I would.  With my Bell's Palsy, I sound more like Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein: "Super duper!"  Oddly, this is an improvement for me.

I think I need more help with the overall structure.  Any constructive criticism would be appreciated.

Blooby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSzb22EikIQ

[hooper]

Well, I think you're exactly right.... it's about structure:
Song arrangement and also rhythmic structure.

70's power trio...?  Go back and listen again to Cream and pay attention to what the drums, bass and guitar are doing rhythmicly.  You will usually hear two distinct rhythmic elements.... sort of playing in rhythmic harmony with each other.  (Sunshine of Your Love, Strange Brew... etc)

And usually the 'A' part and 'B' part will be a 8 or 16 bar theme that is distinct and recognizable. 

Once this is established the lead part can wander and improv all over the place but the overall thing still hangs together. 

Maybe what you don't like about what you hear in this piece now is that a solid foundation has not yet been established. 
Hope that helps...


 

[guitarron]

I like this song-I think of Rush when i hear it-Any Geddy Lee type singers out there?-that would fit the bill nicely.
Nice job-hope you're feeling better
Ron

[Oldrottenhead]

ok second song tonight not counting secret collaboration with hoop hic, yes drinking  has influenced me,  i put a lyric over it here it is,its now called "thats the way its always bin",  .

[Blooby]

oldrottenhead, thank you so much.

It was always intended for some vocals, but I didn't know if it would hang together.  I would have tried to sing myself, but it's deflating to see my pets run to all corners of the house when I open my mouth.  Your vocal ties it together better like I hoped it would.  Your contribution inspires me to keep tweaking this song, messing with the structure, as opposed to round-filing all the ideas contained within.

I initially liked the busy drum pattern over that off-kilter descending line (your verse and ultimately, last chorus...I think), but with your vocals, I regret not keeping that pattern simpler.  I guess my initial thought was to have a simple chorus, with very few syllables floating over the top of that part, but I think a simplified drum pattern would also make that sound less busy.

I was going to do a much more aggressive solo, but I really like the way your vocals set it off.  The outro solo seems a waste, especially since it has such a similar vibe to the guitar solo.  If anybody has an opinion on how it should end, I'm all ears.

guitarron, thank you for the kind words.  I'm curious as to why you think it sounds "Rush-y."  By the way, I just relived my youth by seeing them in Charlotte on the tail-end of my vacation, and they were great.  There was a South Park introduction to "Tom Sawyer" that was quite amusing.  And what can you say about Neil Peart?

Hooper, as for the initial seventies tag, I think that came more from the roaming bass during certain sections.  You just don't hear a lot of that upper-register bass playing these days.  Must be all those hours I spent listening to Berry Oakley and even Mel Schacher.  By the way, the bass was once again courtesy of a guitar through that brown Boss octave pedal.  For those of you who don't want a bass, I think it does a passable job (and it still runs on batteries for portability's sake).

http://www.bosscorp.co.jp/products/en/OC-3/demos.html

oldrottenhead, please post the lyrics when you get a chance.  

Peace.

Blooby

p.s.-Did I mention I was agnostic?

[Oldrottenhead]

p.s.-Did I mention I was agnostic?

hahahaha
will post lyrics when i sober up

[SteveG]

I hear what Hooper is getting at, but all this needed was Jim's excellent lyrics! Sounds just fine to me guys, great colab.

[Oldrottenhead]

hi blooby here are the lyrics as requested can i post this one at the nevermet site
www.soundclick.com/nevermet

That's the way it's always bin

What you want and what you get
Man you aint seen nuthin yet
Don't you know bout murphys law
Its comin to you one and all
Theres a pattern theres a shape
Man we all come up from apes
Seven days are just a week
The strong will always rule the meek

That's the way its always bin

I hear your waiting for a man
Hes been and gone aint coming back
Just cos its writ don't mean its true
Theyre playing you the fool
And so it goes around again
The destiny of man
Seven days are just a week
The strong will always rule the meek

That's the way its always bin
Never gonna change
That's the way its always bin
Never gonna change

They say if you have faith
You will find the way
Yeah Just believe
Whatever the hell they say

Theres a pattern theres a shape
Man we all come up from apes
Seven days are just a week
The strong will always rule the meek

That's the way its always bin
That's the way its always bin

What you want and what you get
Man you aint seen nuthin yet
Don't you know bout murphys law
Its comin to you one and all
Theres a pattern theres a shape
Man we all come up from apes
Seven days are just a week
The strong will always rule the meek

That's the way its always bin
That's the way its always bin
That's the way its always bin
And its never gonna change


I hear your waiting for a man
Hes been and gone aint coming back

[SteveG]

Jim, you got hellhounds on your trail! LOL.

[Oldrottenhead]

took the liberty and posted a vid on you tube


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSzb22EikIQ