The amusing (and random) personal anecdote thread

[SteveG]

Got home from my brothers, pissed. 3am, no keys. Walked round to the back of the house, climbed the wall, fought through the brambles, climbed onto the kitchen extension roof (being careful to walk on the beams) and edged to the window with the broken latch .... which would not open. Then remembered that I had fixed it 

Now totally pissed off, headed back towards the edge of the roof, forgetting to walk on the beams, and fell through the roof  

Came back to conciousness some time later and thought "Ah well, at least I am inside". Peeled my eyes open and discovered that I was in the porch .....  outside

Walked back to my brothers, refused to go to hospital, received first aid and after some arguing submitted to a body search. Found keys in the wrong pocket 

I still have the scar on the side of my head. We estimate I was unconscious for between 20 and 30 minutes. It was only the sheet of thin ply leaning against the wall saved me from far more serious injury.

Moral .... If you are gonna go out and get pissed, lean a sheet of ply next to your back door........

[Bluesberry]

Got home from my brothers, pissed. 3am, no keys. Walked round to the back of the house, climbed the wall, fought through the brambles, climbed onto the kitchen extension roof (being careful to walk on the beams) and edged to the window with the broken latch .... which would not open. Then remembered that I had fixed it 

Now totally pissed off, headed back towards the edge of the roof, forgetting to walk on the beams, and fell through the roof  

Came back to conciousness some time later and thought "Ah well, at least I am inside". Peeled my eyes open and discovered that I was in the porch .....  outside

Walked back to my brothers, refused to go to hospital, received first aid and after some arguing submitted to a body search. Found keys in the wrong pocket 

I still have the scar on the side of my head. We estimate I was unconscious for between 20 and 30 minutes. It was only the sheet of thin ply leaning against the wall saved me from far more serious injury.

Moral .... If you are gonna go out and get pissed, lean a sheet of ply next to your back door........

Damn Steve, that is a song if I ever heard it, why not write a song about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F*ck*ng hilarious, and I am sooo relieved that you didn't get a serious injury.  So, did you stop drinking for a while after this misadventure?

[SteveG]

For the time it took me to get back to my brothers, I NEEDED a drink after that!!!!! 

Put it to a song? Would not know where to start

Hmmmm........

[Blooby]

Hysterical (and somewhat disturbing) story.  I sense a group collaboration on the lyrics.

Flat on muh back on the patio,
wondering why I tweren't home...

[Bluesberry]

Flat on muh back on the patio,
wondering why I tweren't home.
Fell off the roof, my head went splatio,
looking for my keys but they were gone...

[OsCKilO]

https://songcrafters.org/community/micro-br-b65/circus-by-osckilo-vox-and-lyrics-by-orh-t2735/0/

Been done in a way.....

[Migs]

For the time it took me to get back to my brothers, I NEEDED a drink after that!!!!! 

Ha.  Steve, you should meet my brother.  You two would get on well.  After his work Christmas party a few years ago he got home without keys.  He lives on the 2nd flloor of a bloc of units buth the ground floor is all garages so he is effectively 3 levels up.  He thought it would be a good idea to clime from balcony to balcony to get in given he had helped neighbours get in before.
Just as he gets his hand on to the top rung of his balcony, a brick on the window ledge he is standing on gives way and he plunges to the ground.
He isn't sure how long he was out but there was a pretty big pool of blood when I saw the spot a few days later.
Anyway, he comes to, picks up his mobile - wait you people call them cell phones - and tries to call an ambulance.  One problem ... all of his fingers are dislocated so he can't push the buttons.  Had to catch a taxi to hospital.

[SteveG]

Their called mobiles in the UK as well mate. Tell your bro to get one with voice dial ... just in case

[Diego Ayala]

Their called mobiles in the UK as well mate. Tell your bro to get one with voice dial ... just in case

I was laughin my butt off this morning with the elctrecution and I am laughing my butt off this afternoon with your story Steve!  Need to picture it like Charley Chaplin movie!!!

[Rata-tat-tat]

Wow... the trouble I get myself into. Ah the doors are open. For those of you now thinking I'm running around with my manhood looking like the brot that fell of the grill and into the coals... Fear no more. I'm OK!!! 110 doesn't do as much damage as that poor fellow experienced. It does feel like getting kicked in the scrodum with a 50,000 psi jack hammer though.

In my imaginary world I think it has given me super powers and my wife refers to me as "Lightning Rod" Tod... (Because I can make her life flash before her eyes)

In reality my wife refers to me as "Lightning Rod" Tod... (Because she says it's over as quick as it started... Lightning fast) 

Oh well... you guys made my day anyhow... Good stuff for sure.