The amusing (and random) personal anecdote thread

[Blooby]

I thought this thread might be a place where we could all get a laugh to start the day.  Let's please keep this less than serious.

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A few years back, I was hiking with my (then) new girlfriend.  It was around dusk, and she seemed intrigued with the bats that were flying over our heads.  I told her that as youths, my buddies and I would toss tennis balls in the air to see the bats cartwheel and dive after the balls.  With that, I picked up a rock and tossed into the air.  On cue, the bat spiraled and went toward the stone.  Imagine my surprise when the bat then augered directly into the earth a couple feet from where we stood. 

For a minute there, I was the most despised person on the planet as the bat drunkenly flew off.

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All right.  Who's next?

Blooby

[OsCKilO]

What are the chances! Lol









Fire away BB..........

[Bluesberry]

Me and my wife went to a cat show one time, it was kinda neat.  Anyway months later we get a phone call from someone calling themselves the "Cat Fanciers Society", Of course by this time I had completly forgotten about the cat show.  The caller claimed that we won a free two nights in the Holiday Inn in Bangor Maine USA (we live a couple hundred miles north of there in Canada).  They wanted to come over to our house and deliver the tickets.  Well at this time there was a rash of house invasion robberies, the police said that it was a roving band of "Gypsies" who were pulling these crimes off in Canadian Cities.  Well, I was very wary and refused to give my home address.  I agreed to meet at the local shopping Mall, just in case these guys really were Gypsies.  We met, got the tickets, along with a free sample of cat food.  Damn funny, I laughed my head off to find out that there really was a cat fanciers society and we really won a contest by buying tickets to this cat show.  We went to Bangor, but Bangor is sooooo boring a spot (Mark-Launched will understand) we ended up coming home after only one night, we couldn't stand to stay one more day.  

[SteveG]

Ok, beat this for stupidity...

Putting the disc lock on the fromt wheel of my bike .... now, for those who dont know, a disc lock is a pretty flat lump of metal with a slot, and a lock that slides in and out placing a pin through the holes in the disc, stopping the wheel from turning. See pic.

To put the lock on you don't need the key, just push the lock barrel in.

So, for some strange reason I put the damm thing on backwards, with the lock facing in to rather than out from the wheel.

"Bugger" I thought

Then realised that it was against one of the wheel struts, which meant I could not get the key into the lock to get it back off!!!!

"Bugger Bugger Bugger" I thought 

Anyway, I had to take the wheel off the bike and the disc off the wheel to get the damm thing off, lucky I was at home when I did it 

[SteveG]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMNrrLBdhuM

[OsCKilO]

A friend of mine used to sing with this Guy in a Pub in Hackney.....



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7GeZ3YmONw

[launched]

We went to Bangor, but Bangor is sooooo boring a spot (Mark-Launched will understand) we ended up coming home after only one night, we couldn't stand to stay one more day.  

Ha - Why do you think I'm not there anymore   One of the Holiday Inns was demolished and turned into a casino(Main Street near McDonald's toward downtown). And the other one is near Howard Johnson's, Ramada, Ground Round, etc. The family business is not more than a half mile from this one.

What a small world...

[Migs]

Cleats are those things that keep your feet connected to the pedals of bikes.  Sometimes too well connected.

Anyone who has ridden a bike with cleats will know the experience of the first time you get to some traffic lights and stop before you actually unclip your foot.  It happens in slow motion.  You pull to a halt then attempt to put your foot on the ground.  Then your brain realises that your foot is securely attached to the pedal.  Then there is a period of panic as you approach the ground - still hopelessly to remove your foot.

You never do this when there isn't a crowd.  Even if you aren't physically hurt, the emotional hurt and embarrassment is what gets ya.

[Davo]

When I was a brand new EMT, working my first ambulance job another rig pulls into my station and the driver tells me that he just came from a horrible accident and that he had the body in the back of the ambulance, which he was taking to the coroner. 

I was brand spanking new, and didnt know how things work.  I also didnt think it strange that the drivers partner was missing.  He says "theres so much blood!".
I say I want to see the body.  We go to the back of the ambulance I can see feet sticking out under a sheet.  I step in the rig just in time for the "missing" crew member to sit up from the gurney and let out a loud scream.  I jumped five feet in the air!

[Oldrottenhead]

i was on holiday in corfu with my wife and my oldest daughter who was 10 months old at the time, as some of you may know i can speak a little greek, but back then i was still learning, so a waiter at our favourite taverna would teach me phrases etc. so one day i said to him, how do i ask for baby formula at the supermarket? (as my daughter was running out of powdered baby milk). so he taught me.

next day at the supermarket i asked for baby formula, the girl at the counter blushed and didnt understand me or so it seemed to me. so i put my thumb in my mouth and started sucking to show her what i meant.

it turns out i was asking for a blowjob.

so i get the waiter he says, sorry i didnt think you would remember cos i was drunk. so we kiss and make up and have a good laff.

three years later we go back to same resort in corfu and first night me and mrs orh say,we will go to that wee taverna we liked last time we where here.
 get to the taverna wait to be seated as the waiter has ihis back to us and is chatting with customers, he turns round and sees us and turns back to his customers pointing at us shouting thats the guy i was telling you about.