Blues Lawyer

[WarpCanada]

So that thing where a song just comes to you and you just say thank you happened. Anyone who hasn't heard this term, Blues Lawyer refers to that guy at open mic nights who clearly has more money than everyone else, but he may not be the world's best blues guitar player. He sure do have a fine rig tho.   Original lyrics by me.  Basic blues chords and stepdad licks also by me.  Drums via Cubase Groove Agent. 

One take "demo" with the guitar and vocals at the same time.

Pay to play
Spin to win
'50s Gibson
Fashion sins

Trophy wife
Signature picks
Dumble Amp
Stepdad licks

Wasted life
Shaking hands
Vultures circle
Like your fake friends

Winner winner
Chicken dinner
Blues Lawyer
Firm handshake grinner


You found the Prize
In your birthday cake
It's all the smalltalk
At your wake
Nothing ventured
Nothing gained
You never lived.
And you're numb to pain.
We all got
To leave this place.
Some with more
Or less grace.
Some of us gave
Less than we took.
Some left a mark.
Some wrote a book.

Blues Lawyer.
Hows your aim?
Did you win
This nothing game?
Blues Lawyer
What's the spin?
You won your case
You got life pinned
Your hair still looks
Quite realistic
Your girlfriends
Boobs are made of plastic
She has to drink a fifth of gin
'fore she can stand the way
you grin.

Blues Lawyer.
I admit
I'm slightly jealous.
And full of shit.
I'm a nobody,
with my Squier Tele.
Please don't sue me
That would be smelly.
Let's forget that
I brought this up
I'll buy a round
and uh
let's drink up.


Take your solo
Take a bow
You showed them
You showed us how.
See you again
Next week.
Yer girlfriend's pretty
and yer amp is neat.

Starving artists
Can be quite vicious
Watch your back
And know yer bidniz.

Blues Lawyer
He ain't no joke.
He's White as hell
But he ain't broke.

He can outspend
The best of them
Bet you wish
You were his friend.

Blues Lawyer
Standing Ovation
You really found
yerself a profitable vocation
Unlike the starving jerks out here
You buy the rare Guitars
And so we sneer.
(And call you stepdad)

But perhaps we are
equally childish.
We need to grow a pair.
Do some good in the world
Get a job and cut our hair
Spread love with music
Instead of shade
Maybe then we can show the world that we care.

If we could go ahead and all agree to
keep our nasty claws sheathed I guess that
That would be fantastic.
(Sorry I said that thing about plastic.)

(C) 2021 WAP Productions

[StephenM]

Brilliant!  That is just so much fun....and it sounds great...cool, cool, cool... and* I love the "I would do a solo right now but..."  fun, fun, fun!

[Kenneth]

Nice! Love the cheeky lyrics and it gave me a good laugh!
I'm imagining he has a high end PRS as well
 to go with that dumble?
Sounds like you are recording here with an actual amp and not a pod or virtual amp.. can you give details? It sounds raw and good.

[Greeny]

Ooh - that's bitter. And very funny. I've met a few of those in my open mic days. Maybe I'll become one eventually. I was just thinking last night that I'll buy myself a custom shop Tele for my 60th birthday (not for a while yet, and if I last that long), lol.

Great song, great lyric, and a nice barbed delivery. Cool!

[StephenM]

Ooh - that's bitter. And very funny. I've met a few of those in my open mic days. Maybe I'll become one eventually. I was just thinking last night that I'll buy myself a custom shop Tele for my 60th birthday (not for a while yet, and if I last that long), lol.

Great song, great lyric, and a nice barbed delivery. Cool!

*************you'd certainly know what to do with that Tele.... and I think you've paid the necessary dues...

[Ferryman_1957]

Brilliant Warren, you had me laughing over this one from the off. If you hang around The Gear Page at all, this is indeed a hot topic of conversation. I love the lyrics and the twist at the end is brilliant. I really liked your accompaniment and vocal style on this one, it worked really well.

Huge fun, well done!

[Hilary]

This is a treasure isn't it!

Some people like plastic boobs.

Tim - get the guitar now, I'm sure you've got a good few years before you hit 60!

There are some fantastic lyrics here, observational like John Prine.

I'm working on a song (about falling in love with a Zombie) where I do an instrumental badly, I've written the lyrics and the rest is in my head atm - it's a great line - so don't think I've pinched it/adapted it 

Be proud - it's really good!

[TPB]

Well the first song of the morning with my coffee and I am laughing my ass off I know a few of them.  Great song great lyrics well done brother
Tim

[Farrell Jackson]

Hey Warren, I like humor in music and you have me grinning wide with this one. The lyrics and the way you sing them are hilarious and the guitar tone is excellent. I like how your lyric ridicules and empathizes the Blues Lawyer all at the same time, while telling a fine story. The "Sorry I said that thing about plastic" is a real jewel of an ending line, lol. This reminds me of Shel Silverstein's style of writing (Cover of the Rolling Stone etc.). Well done!

Farrell

[WarpCanada]

Thanks folks. 

I have not been happy with the line out school of recording guitar, somehow it hasn't mixed well for me because I don't know how to add the "room air" back in.   So this is a Shure SM58 mic on my Blackstar HT5R, backed off more than you would if you had an SM57, so it's getting an ambient room sound plus enough of the amp.   That then goes into a live-sound mixer with compression, where I blended the live sound of my vocal prior to recording into the computer.   AN odd way to record. 

Vocals are into a low end Neeuwer NW700 large element condensor.

Then I basically just added too much vintage compression and saturation to accentuate the demo nature of the sound, and my go-to Raum reverb in the box.

I think I should actually mix the vocals back down about 6 dB lower.