Appalachian Tale

[Ray Brookes]

A bit of bluegrass fun. Special thanks to my nephew Michael for the loan of his 5-string banjo and mandolin though I am not particularly proficient on either instrument. In fact I'm even struggling with some of the guitar lines as the fingers are not as agile as they used to be LOL.

The bar was dark but I guess that's no excuse
I'd had too many drinks and was feeling kinda loose
I was just ready to leave when the door to the street
Suddenly opened wide and in walked something sweet
Blue eyes, tight jeans strawberry blonde hair
I grabbed another drink an' sat back down in my chair.

I checked out her asset through the bottom of my glasset
As she came by my table she smiled as she walked past it
She strode up to the bar ordered Smirnoff with a twist
Turned around and looked at me and blew a little kiss
I blew a kiss back an' that was my first mistake
My pulse was a-pounding; my knees began to shake.

The motel room was functional the walls were mostly bare
My clothes folded neatly on the grubby bedside chair
I went an' lowered the lights to create the atmosphere
Wondering on the wisdom of drinking that last beer
Then as I turned back to the bed as solid as a rock
She'd taken off most her clothes and I got the biggest shock.

First of all a wooden leg she unscrewed with due care
The blonde wig then she placed it carefully on the bedside chair
I couldn't believe my eyes when she then removed her bra
One by one they got detached and placed inside a jar.
She smiled a toothy grin then the teeth came out too
Then she said "I'm ready, baby. Whatcha wanna do?"

An ear, an eye, a leg and other parts standing by
I'm thinking 'Ray. This ain't your day it's time for you to fly'
I made a hasty dash as I tried to make the door
She screamed as something else dropped off and rolled along the floor
She threw a wooden leg at my head which I catched
"Where'd ya think ya goin' ? There's still some parts attached."

So here's the strangest thing that happened on that night
Everything worked out fine; we finally got it right
We been together ever since; happy as can be
All the bits I ever need she flings across to me
And any time I feel I wanna try something new
We turn a part press restart undo another screw.

[funkyaxe]

Absolutely brilliant. I'm in awe of the complexity and sheer fun, musicality and amazing arrangement of this fine tune. Simply dazzling work

[Frank53]

Man, Ray this is awesome. Bill Monroe would be proud. Great fun story, great pickin'. You're a versatile guy.

[StephenM]

wow!  the banjo and harmonica are fantastic...it is really good....you would love the blue grass here in NC....anyway, great to see some great pickers in AUSTRALIA!

[Redler]

When I saw the title on the front page, I was sure this is a song by Pine who lives in the Northern Appalachians...

This is bluegrass at its best, well written song and just an amazing performance! My toe is tapping on the floor!

This works!

[Ferryman_1957]

Wow, this is pretty impressive stuff Ray. I understand why you struggled a bit, it's really fast and seems pretty complex to me. Great playing, a real toe-tapper and I loved the guitar and harp solos in the middle. Very amusing lyrics as well, great fun!

[Hilary]

Absolutely brilliant. I'm in awe of the complexity and sheer fun, musicality and amazing arrangement of this fine tune. Simply dazzling work

Yep - made me laugh and that's not an easy thing to do!

[bruno]

Fabulous. Loved the playing on this - foot tapping goodness. Great tune, more plz.
B

[tonyc]

wow ray , yow had me loffin , fantastic , lyrics i dont know how you thought of them but there brilliant , and as for all those instruments , just brilliant , top tune ray more please ,   cheers . ,,tony cee

[thetworegs]

Fantastic love it all those fast lyrics, vocal and music another uplifting song for this Monday morning ....big smiles ....