Living on the wrong Side of the Line

[Farrell Jackson]

Mike, I agree with all that has been said about your vocals and guitar work ....great riff and cool song!

Farrell

[Oldrottenhead]

great song Mike, i think Living as well as opposed to standing. Standing can be momentary, living is just more, bigger, lived, profound than just standing 

[AndyR]

Thank you for kind comments guys.

Just on that line that's been mentioned "Living on the Wrong Side of the Line"... so basically... I can see that the word "Standing" would fit in there too and might give it a slightly different feel, but I think that I am going to stick with "Living". The thinking behind the lyrics was an imagined line in a town or city where on one side you had the more affluent or fortunate ones and on the other you had the ghetto or less fortunate ones who for them for many reasons life is more difficult... less money, lack of connections, lack of education and yes sadly even things like colour of skin. So for me these people have been living their whole life on the wrong side of the line...

That was the thinking...

The only other thing to say I guess is when posting a track on Songcrafter's for me it is generally not a demo version or anything like that... it's the finished article I'm afraid!

Yep, that's exactly what I thought, I was fairly certain that that was what you were aiming at with "Living"... I could see what Steve was saying, and yeah, it made sense, and yeah it would have a had a different effect on this listener... but you went for Living... so job done as far as I'm concerned

I wasn't sure how you'd take his suggestion - it takes a while to figure out who's after what sort of comments/critique on here. Especially if you're used to a different vibe elsewhere. I was fairly certain you weren't looking for that sort of thing, but I didn't know whether it would get your back up (doesn't sound like it has ) ... I was a little worried, though. And that's why I posted... mebbe I shouldn't have, but I was a bit drunk!!

Steve, don't stress about it, no damage done... but, in general, most of us are posting completed lyrics on here and we really aren't expecting help/suggestions, unless we ask for them, that is. And that doesn't usually happen on the "Original Songs" board. This is kinda where we post our completed stuff - it's done and, for many, this is the main place we post our stuff. We're going "hey look what I got!" and most of us are already gearing up for the next thing after we've posted. We're all kind of assuming folks have just posted what they'd like us to enjoy if it's our kind of stuff...

So most of us tend to comment "positively" here - pick out things that grab us. That sometimes seems to be strange to some newcomers... but I think it's the way we help each other grow, and why people have stayed around for so long, creating and commenting when they have something to say... If someone does ask for "what's wrong with my track?" like you did the other day, it's cool to answer like I did on that thread (even then, I was worried that I might be discouraging/deflating you a bit... sounded like I didn't, so "phew! "), but most of the time I wouldn't dream of offering "hey why don't you try my idea on your song?" on here, or anywhere else I post myself, unless some asks for it specifically.

[danthecoat]

Man that riff is to die for!!! Love the way this moves along and thats so difficult when you are at bare bones and you have done a great job with the vocals they really compliment each other. Love the lyrics as well very well thought out 

A very cool song !!!!!

[Greeny]

Oh yeah. That greasy riff does it for me, big-time. Like others I can hear a Stonesy kind of swagger to it.

It just works. When it works it doesn't need justifying or explaining. It just 'is'. And this is a belter.

[Blooby]

You have managed to address a tricky subject in a way that doesn't sound trite in the least. I really is an excellent song. Hats off.

Blooby