La main au cul (Ops!)

[Jean Pierre]

a bawdy song? maybe or maybe not... I leave you to judge, with the lyrics in French and the translation
...at least it's a French blues by Henri Salvador 

guitars (2 Take) Les Paul Epiphone (clean sound  with guitar rig 5),  bass drums organ BIAB

french lyrics, after translation)
Je viens te voir avec des roses
Et je te fais du boniment
J'essaie de dire de jolies choses
Et tu rigoles, évidemment

Je croyais qu'en étant timide
Je te séduirais en 8 jours
Mais je vois que je suis stupide
Ma mère me répétait toujours :

"Si j'te foutais la main au cul ?
Tu ferais beaucoup moins d'histoires
Je gagnerais le temps perdu
En r'demander tu peux me croire"

Mon père eu bien 300 maîtresses
Malgré son regard abruti
Il allait à la chasse aux fesses
Du samedi jusqu'au lundi
N'ayant aucun vocabulaire
Il méprisait le  baratin
Mais connaissait bien son affaire
Pour aller au succès certain

Il leur foutait la main au cul
Et ça ne faisait pas d'histoires
Il n'aimait pas le temps perdu
Elles en r'demandaient tu peux m'croire

J'ai tord de faire du baratin
Le sentiment c'est passé d'mode
Ça n'attendrit plus qu'les putains
Les mots d'amours vieux comme Érode
J'essaie de faire des yeux d'velours
J'm'amène avec un bouquet d'roses
Je gâche mes heures à faire la cour
Au total, ça n'donne jamais grand chose

Si j'te foutais la main cul
Ça ferait beaucoup moins d'histoires
Je r'gretterais moins le temps perdu
Perdu à m'faire prendre pour une poire

translation
I come to you with roses
And I'm bullshitting you.
I'm trying to say some nice things.
And you're laughing, of course.

I thought that by being shy
I'll seduce you in a week.
But I see I'm stupid.
My mother always told me:

"Why don't I stick my hand up your ass?
You'd be making a lot less trouble
I'd save the time I lost.
Asking about it, you can believe me."

My father had 300 mistresses
Despite his dumb look
He was going on a butt hunt.
From Saturday to Monday
Having no vocabulary
He despised  spiel
But he knew his business well.
To achieve certain success

He was sticking his hand up their ass.
And it didn't make any fuss.
He didn't like wasted time
They were wondering about it, you can believe me.

I'm wrong to talk nonsense.
The feeling has gone out of fashion
It only makes the whores soft.
Love words as old as Erode
I'm trying to make velvet eyes
I'm bringing a bouquet of roses
I'm wasting my hours courting.
All in all, it never gives much.

If I put my hand up your ass
It would make a lot less fuss.
I'd be less burdened with wasted time
Lost in making me look like a pear

[cuthbert]

Not just bawdy, but filthy! I hope there was hand-washing involved afterward...

Nice, bluesy sound, JP!

[Hook]

Holy shite...pretty bawdy stuff. Well done brother. I might have to do a version of this in English.
Rock on!

[The Gobi Desert Canoe Club]

Great sound and Bawdy to the Nth degree.  Willie

[Jean Pierre]

thank you Cuthbert, Hook and Willie
I don't really like the lyrics of this song to tell the truth, it's not really my cup of tea, the "grivois" language... but I liked this "blues" schema and especially the guitar intro of Henri Salvador's original record
Henri Salvador is a French singer of Martinican origin I think who made a career as a "fantasy" singer in France but at the beginning he was a good jazz guitarist and who made in particular a "humorous" blues song: "la blouse du dentiste" (word games "blouse" (jacket) pronounced itself as "blues" in English...
He sang this song and it is a live reference with Ray Charles in 1998

HERE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHxLRjbx_Js

the dentist's blues is one of the few songs whose lyrics I know "by heart" and which I have had the opportunity to sing all over the world during my humanitarian missions: Kathmandu, Haiti, Gaza (Palestine)

see the video here whose beginning is recorded "live" at Hotel Ollofson (mythical hotel that served as the setting for a film based on Graham Green's novel "The Comedians" with Liz Taylor and Richard Burton, in this hotel
Prestigious guests such as Marlon Brandon, Mick Jagger, Kennedy, had a room booked and marked with their names on it
HERE the video at the Olofsson Hotel


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GA1YvwJjCQ 


Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

[Mike_S]

This is how you do it!!

I was wondering... how the hell to do a bawdy song, but this is it. Downright filthy... awesome stuff indeed, but I have to say all done with a certain degree of sophistication and class at the same time. This is how you do it!

Mike