Identity Crisis

[Johnny Robbo]

Thanks for the encouragement, chaps! I think a large part of the problem is my ridiculously low self esteem. We could talk about the causes of that until the cows come home... but let's not eh?

I'll just keep plugging away, doing what I do, and hopefully some of the positive comments you all make might just get through my thick skull and register with me.

Thanks again, chaps... I'm proud to call each & every one of you a friend.

John.

[Blooby]

When I came back to breeze through this thread, I noticed my post didn't include any of my sycophantic admiration of your playing and musicality. It's one thing to play with great technical facility and quite another to actually say something. You manage to do both.

Blooby

[IanR]

Hi John,

This is thought provoking stuff.

My take on your playing is that even though you think you are not as good as you'd like to be, your benchmarks are very high and much higher than most of us on songcrafters could aspire to. Therefore, most of us are convinced that you are already a great player and most of us are not qualified enough to say otherwise - a bit like Alfredo was saying in his post.

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to be better. I want you to be better because I'll enjoy hearing it.

Now, my own guitar playing is at best rudimentary. I have no allusions of having any great talent. So, what I try to do is find ways to allow my playing to not get in the way of the song I'm trying to record. Sometimes I succeed and other times I fail. I generally post everything, so you can share in my success and failure. The best thing is that people are generally kind about the failures (or choose to ignore them).

When I listen back to my earliest songs, it is clear that I knew a lot less and had less ability than now, so I have benefitted from the process over the last 4-5 years.  

I enjoy playing and recording. It is a great hobby that should last me the rest of my life. I'm typing this on a new laptop that I bought today to be my dedicated music computer. I'm sure this investment will allow me to expand in new ways and hopefully improve the music I record. If I record and play more, then surely my music will continue to get better. If not, I'll still enjoy myself.

Thanks for being part of Songcrafters. You are one of my favourites. Now go and practice!

Ian

[bruno]

Johnny,
My 10c worth.

I totally get where you are coming from and feel your pain. This thread has got me thinking.

Its complicated though. Sometimes I love what I do, sometimes I think its lifeless with no soul - same pieces at different times!

I can see everyones point of view on this one - and we all have our demons.

I like the quote from Conan Doyle about Sherlock, "intense bouts of energy followed by long periods of lethargy. That sums me up.

If I look at myself critically, I can rip myself a second a*hole. But this is me on me, and I'm not looking for any feedback on this, its just that I hope it helps the conversation

a) I hate the fact I never put enough effort in - I'm lazy, I should have practiced more over the years
b) I hate my stock 'go-to' phrases in my playing, they are corny an unmusical
c) I can't play fast enough
d) I should have learned to read music on the guitar, I can on the violin, so why didn't I???
e) FFS finish something, for once!!!

These are in my musical heart, and not in my head.
My head says, tough! You can improve all of them If you really want - and yet ..... sometimes I listen and think yeah, that sounds great (excuse my egotism) .......

So its complex. Personnally, I think this is absolutely part of the creative process. Self-doubt, self critism, love/hate with you output. Well documented that many creatives feel this way, not just musicians, but actors and their looks, comedians, artists, chefs etc, etc.

I also think its part of the gene that drives us to change, to improve, to make each piece better than the last. Somehow, we must embrase these feelings, and use them - however it wears you down, that's for sure.

After all these years, I still have no idea what I'm striving for. I do it, cos it like it. It is what it is.
Do I want to be Guthrie Govern (the greatest guitarist living that I know about) - who can hardly be described as successful, and who's music is hard to listen to? I really don't know.

A few years ago, I had to consider not being able to play anymore through illness, and that really hurt. So I do what I do, I tinker in my studio, I enthuse about my latest piece and force the family to listen whilst they roll their eyes, and pat me on the head. But that's cool - and I like it, it makes me happy!

To re-interate everyone else's comments - you are an amazing and thoughtful player imo. I do understand how you feel - but I'd say take on board what everyone is saying here, I think there is some deeply thought about advise, and hopefully help you think positive and good throughts.

Rock on brother.

B

[The Gobi Desert Canoe Club]

Hi all, interesting question. When I was learning to play many many years ago (I'm 68 in a few weeks) I never really wanted to sound like anyone else, in fact I made a conscious effort not to listen to other players. In fact there were very few guitarist to listen to unless you were into jazz and that wasn't my thing. That all changed when I formed a band and realised people wanted what was in the charts, the local pubs, clubs all wanted rock and roll or whatever was popular at the time. I was never a good player in the Satchwood, Johnny Robbo class but I learned how to sell a number in the same way that I can't sing but can put a number over. I am in awe of some of the guys that play a thousand notes a minute but to my way of thinking I would prefer to play like Jeff Beck or Dave Gilmour who have their own sound and style. I do believe my playing and style has become more recognisable in the last few years but it came a bit late in life to do anything with other than enjoy sites like this where I can hear virtually all styles and competencies of the instrument we all love. Regards Willie

[Flash Harry]

Isn't it about the pleasure that you get out of playing and, if you're lucky, the pleasure you give to others through your playing?

I'm happy not taking myself seriously, but taking what I do seriously. I know when I mess up, but it's transient, if anyone notices the moment is past and the music moves on. It's about delivery as much as skill and technical prowess. I would rather listen to someone playing passionately than a master technician delivering a soul-less performance. 

The rhythm and notes are only part of the music. It's expression and 'Feel' that make good (and not so good) playing great. You can practice and learn technique, the intangibles are innate. You either got it, or you ain't.

Having said that, if you can fake sincerity, you have it made.

[Hook]

Having said that, rif you can fake sincerity, you have it made.

I've been married for 18 years.

[Flash Harry]

Having said that, rif you can fake sincerity, you have it made.

I've been married for 18 years.

in the UK, this isn't known as 'Sincerity' and at my age, it's known as unlikely