One for Tommy, Fenderbender

[Groundy]

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night, celebrating St Patrick's Day.

Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy, you've had enough'.

Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on me way then'.

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off.  He falls flat on his face.  'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.  He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again....'Shoite,  Shoite!'.
 
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.  He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to
the door frame.  He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his
face.

'Be Jaysus.... I must be pissed,' he says.

But he can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside...  He takes a look up the stairs and says 'Noooo  way'.

He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to me bed'.

He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.  'Buggar!'.  He crawls to the bed and falls in and is asleep before his head hits the pillow.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, brings him a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'
"I did so I did, Jess.  I was well pissed but how'd you know?'
 
'Mick phoned .....you left your wheelchair at the pub again".

Alex

[fenderbender]

 
Alex you are a marked man
only messing pal
That's a goody
I can see you on St. Patrick's Day with your tall floppy green hat and wearing your  Scottish Kilt  singing Ferry Across the Mersey

[Groundy]

Alex you are a marked man
only messing pal
That's a goody
I can see you on St. Patrick's Day with your tall floppy green hat and wearing your  Scottish Kilt  singing Ferry Across the Mersey