Eternal Love

[Hilary]

I feel a bit of a fraud - not really a song, more of an idea for a song.
Warning, it's very dark and dramatic (hopefully) in my usual do-down kinda way.
Please don't listen if you're feeling low and in need of cheering up coz it really won't help.

Just an idea guys, nothing more  

*

[Jarle]

This is a great idea. You have to pursue this. It is really emotional.

JOA

[SwanSong]

HI Haylie i ag ree with comment posted already  ..surely u have a great
song here. ..beautiful voice.. anythought for my idea of adding a soft
string or violin. ??  IF u wish i think i could play with this and give me
a shout . it s ur call great song cheers NEIL.!

[Geir]

I really should have read the label     ....   oh well .....

agree with my brother .....  this should definitively be developed into a full song ....  much too short, but still one of your best Haylie

[Hook]

Very nice tune! As a fan of short tunes (loved under2minfest) I'm torn, I could definitely hear this developed into more but it's cool the way it come quick and disappears.
Rock on!

[Hilary]

Oh thanks guys - I've actually written a second verse and bridge . . .

I don't want to wait for fate
The time is now, will you come for me?
Will we walk together towards the light?

A cold lullaby soothes me to sleep
Rescues me

repeat first verse

and will rerecord it soon - it'll still be short - I think the 2 verses say all that needs to be said. It's a serious subject, I want to treat it with respect.

[Greeny]

I really like the simplicity of just vocal and guitar for this subject matter. It does come and go too quickly though. It's an emotional piece so it needs to keep you there a bit longer after it's drawn you in. Like the songwriting and lyric very much - will look forward to a finished version.

[Jarle]

Just had to listen to this one more time.
Still looking forward to the finished song.

JOA

[AndyR]

Oh this is the biz. When you've got the second verse in place I think it'll be perfect. Like Hook, it actually works for me in the short "one verse" state, but I think the second verse will nail it.

On the subject matter - for me, I don't think you need to worry about it too much. It's a difficult idea to get across right, but I think you've managed it. You can listen to it as just a nice song with a nice vocal on it, with an emotion and feeling you can't quite define, but you can feel it.... When you look into the lyrics you feel "oh that's sad" and it makes the song even prettier in a "cold" way. The only thing I'd watch out for is making it too long - we all tend to "like" hearing people's sadness... but once we've "got it" we tend not to want them going on about it too much... I guess we can't handle it or something?

Anyhoo... gorgeous song

[SE]

Just terrific vox with your  acoustic, great recording too, is there more?, would love to hear it.