Posting habbits on Songcrafters

[Hilary]

If someone pressures you have to give up something you love, that person is selfish and does not truly care
about you.

I'm with Gene on this one - they should be in awe of your talent and love you all the more because of it.

[Rata-tat-tat]

OK how bout Xfest....

When I started playing gigs on a regular basis my first wife enjoyed going out, the music, the attention, but as time passed she went to the gigs fewer times. Then, one day she asked me why I didn't stay home more with her.
I told her the guitar was helping pay the bills and feed us and I couldn't get the audience to come to our home to hear me play.

That wasn't good enough. She nagged and nagged until I finally told her that, push come to shove, she would be gone and the guitars would still be with me.

She's been gone over 45 years. I'm still playing guitar.

If someone pressures you to give up something you love, that person is selfish and does not truly care
about you. There are plenty more fish in the sea. Throw that one back and go fishing again.

[Speed Demon]

An EXfest. A brilliant idea.

I already have a title for my tune.

Been So Miserable Since You've Gone, It Feels Like You're Still Here

[Facemask93]

Gene , you crack me up every time , you are better than a therapist

[Speed Demon]

Life itself is a form of therapy. Good for you. If it doesn't kill you first.

[chip]

Well funnily enough last night our guitarist who is quite young was supposed to come with me to a venue we are playing next week.......... I wanted him and the rest of the band ( who didn't go either) to have a look at the venue ( pub) and check out the sound requirements... I do this quite often just to get a feel of the place.

Anyway having said he would come, 6 .30pm came the call.  "I can't go tonight , my girlfriend is cooking me dinner" etc etc...

My sister took me anyway, so there I am standing at the bar and in walks his dad, who had given him a right rollicking over his feeble excuse and decided he would come down and check it out with me..... Bare in mind he is only twenty one and is very talented so you would think he could either, have dinner first then come down or have dinner when he got back... His dad was none to impressed..... The lads playing years may be very short if he sticks with his present girlie............. Amen.

[bruno]

The word is balance. If any one thing takes over, then everything goes to shit. I also think creatives understand creatives - Mrs B writes, I play guitar. I think we both understand the need to do 'our thing', and come back together after spending time doing what we love, and talk about it. Mrs B positively encouraged me to buy the Brook - me on my own would have probably rationalized why not to spend the money - but I'm glad I did, I love all my instruments. i will probably bring the kids out tomorrow to give Mrs B time to write. This is as it should be - we have been married now for 25 years - still do our own thing, and do lots together! Personally, I think couples who spend too much time together run out of things to talk about, and end up on the rocks - but that's just me, and so I see SC as a positive, I just have to not spend 24by7 on it :-)
B.

[kenny mac]

There is a fine balance ,to be honest my wife means more to me than any piece of wood. and to be honest in the end ,that's all it is,The talent is in the beholder,my wife ,my kids ,my family are the real deal,The music is important to me ,but without them,Im nothing,mrs mc has always put up with my obsession but in the end they would win hands down every time. I'll continue to write and play as long as it makes sense.

[Rata-tat-tat]

I don't wanna start a big discussion with this

Really!!! He He Ha Ha He He Ha Ha He He Ha Ha He He Ha Ha He He Ha Ha He He Ha Ha He He Ha Ha He He Ha Ha He He Ha Ha He He Ha Ha He He Ha Ha He He Ha Ha

[Ferryman_1957]

Just popped in for the first time in many months and happened to find this thread. I initially thought it was about Peter Jackson's new film, but once I got over that I found a lot of interesting comments and I thought I would add a few quick thoughts.

My approach to comments has always been that I like to give some feedback, to highlight things I think worked well and that I liked, and to sometimes make suggestions about how the poster might try things differently in future. If specific advice is asked for, I try to give it. I've always wanted to  make some specific comments to show the poster that I took the trouble to listen to their post all the way through rather than just skim a few seconds and say "great song."

When I joined the site many years ago, it was much smaller and although I started out just commenting on the stuff I liked the most, eventually I listened to everything. I was never a fan of country music but I started listening to Wiley's work and really started to enjoy and appreciate it. I've listened to free form jazz, easy listening and all kinds of stuff that I wouldn't normally listen to and in all of them I have found things to like and often they have really intrigued me. When the site was small, it was possible to do that. Now it's much harder as new stuff gets posted more quickly and when I was on the site I got to the point that I felt I couldn't keep up, which is one of the reasons why I got discouraged from posting. Plus the fact that life got in the way and work is still rather high pressure.

I also used to reply to people's comments on my posts. Again, when the site was less busy it was possible to have more discussion of each post. Personally, I feel rude if I don't respond to people's comments and feedback - it makes me feel like I am ignoring the time and effort they took to respond to my post. but then that leads you into the "constant bump" loop, with some songs continually cycling round the top pages. Now the site is busier, it is much harder to have a real discussion in a post thread.

What's the answer? I suspect there isn't one. The site is a victim of its own success. There is always a risk of some posters or songs getting "ignored" (not out of spite, just because of the volume of site activity). All I can suggest is the original idea that Geir posted, try to make sure you comment on more songs than you post, and if you can make the time to give genuine feedback it will be appreciated by the poster. I like getting a "great song" but personally I value a "a like the way you did x, y or z" much more.

I don't see any issue with responding first to people that have commented on your songs but I would just say make sure you do try spread the love around and do try to find one or two posts or posters each week out of your regular circle that are slipping out of sight.

But just looking at the site it seems to be going well and lots of the regular faces are still here and there are some new ones as well. Whatever you all do, make sure you keep contributing to the site in whatever way suits you best.

Cheers,

Nigel
(I hope to be back after Xmas, work and hearing issues allowing....)