Musician Humor

[tkofaith]

The great Lowell George when talking in an interview responds to an audience member who says, "B flat?  My sister used to B flat."  Lowell replies, "Yeah till she got it in the A."

Too funny.  I always say, "why B flat when you can B sharp!"  Then again everyone's flat is somebody's sharp....I wish there was a key that could unlock this mystery! 

[BossMicroBRew]

Too funny.  I always say, "why B flat when you can B sharp!"

Haha!! Okay, after that one I have to bring up The Simpsons...the barbershop quartet..."The B-Sharps"...anyone?? Bueller? 

"Babyyy on booaarrd..."

[tkofaith]

Haha!! Okay, after that one I have to bring up The Simpsons...the barbershop quartet..."The B-Sharps"...anyone?  "Baby on booaarrd..."

Unfortunately (or maybe FORTUNATELY?!?!) I've never watched The Simpsons.  But that's a great name for a band!

[BossMicroBRew]

Unfortunately (or maybe FORTUNATELY?!?!) I've never watched The Simpsons.

Oh my. This is a sad, sad day. Haha. 

However, some would disagree. But for me, there's nothing better than a fat yellow guy cracking jokes.

[dasilvasings]

B dó (k)!

[dasilvasings]

It is too stupid to mention:

B = Si
C = Do
k is k

B do (k) = Sick!

I'm going to start a post on bass jokes

[Frank53]

Little Johnny says, "When I grow up, I want to be a musician!"
His mommy replies, "But honey, you can't do both."

[Geir]

Why are so many guitarists jokes one liners ?
So the rest of the band can understand them

What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin ?
Who cares - neither one's a guitar

Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Never mind. The piano player can do it with his left hand.

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They have machines to do that now.

How do you make a chain saw sound like a baritone sax?
Add vibrato

A violist was hiking in the mountains, and he came upon a shepherd who was tending a large herd of sheep that were grazing in the alpine meadow. The violist took a fancy to the sheep, and asked the shepherd: "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?"
The shepherd thought this was an odd request, but thought that there was little chance that the man would guess the exact number of sheep, so he said "Sure."
The violist guessed "You have 287 sheep," to the shepherd's astonishment, since this was exactly how many sheep he had.
The violist got all excited and asked "Can I pick out my sheep now?" and the shepherd grudgingly gave his permission. The violist selected his sheep, bent over, and swung the sheep over his shoulders, to carry home with him.
The shepherd then got an idea and asked "If I guess what your occupation is, can I have my sheep back?" The violist was a bit surprised by this, but figured that it was unlikely that the shepherd would be able to guess his occupation, and went along with the deal. The shepherd then guessed "You're a violist, aren't you?"
The violist was very surprised and asked, "How did you know?"
The shepherd responded, "Put the dog down and we'll talk about it."

Q: How do you know if a singer is at the front door?
A: (S)he can't find her/his key.
A: (S)he doesn't know when to come in.

[Flash Harry]

Q. What does a bass player use for contraception?

A. His personality.

[fenderbender]

 
A piper left his bagpipes in his car overnight
next morning when he went to get in his car
 someone had forced the passenger window down and left another set.