.

[Hilary]

*

[launched]

I bet you really do have a pair of fluffy handcufs - Is that the true line!  Just kidding, well done on the performance, and your hard work paid off. Can't believe how you were able to squeeze all that verbiage in with such a brisk fingerpick!

Anyway, love it - Very cool and funny!!

[Hilary]

Thanks Mark - I only wrote it yesterday so the song hasn't settled yet but I really wanted to get a version out asap as it's very topical!

[SE]

Wow great lyrics and all in 2.18 ahh my Mrs has gone to bed will have to make do with vodka.

[bruno]

 
What are you like Haylie - poor Roger :-)
When are you doing Screwfix Direct?    
Very funny song - not sure that would go down well at QMC .... well maybe  !
B.

[Hilary]

Thanks guys

Bruno - Roger hasn't heard it yet   - Oh you remember my Screwfix one then Bruno - I'm not posting that, or my other 'top 5' but wanted to post this as it's really topical at the moment. It's going to be a pig to sing live!

People always think my songs are personal, I suppose I should be flattered that my delivery is so believable but they are really just a series of jokes set to music. Do people actually think that Victoria Wood wanted to have sex with half a male voice choir, an avocado smeared on her lower portions or that Geoffrey Durham used to smack her backside with a Woman's Weekly - come on!!!!!  - rant over

[little_chick]

OMG, Haylie!  Your songs always make me laugh!  Yeah, I guess fantasy and reality should be kept in their own separate places.  Trying to bring them together is usually disastrous! 

[Rata-tat-tat]

Funny stuff Haylie... Puts a smile on my face every time. Great plaYin too.

[Hilary]

Yeah, I guess fantasy and reality should be kept in their own separate places. 

It's all made up Michelle and very specific to the book - bit of scene setting at the beginning and the ending is the true bit (sexual positions for the lethargic) which I saw on daytime tv (whilst doing the ironing) and is no reflection on what my husband and I do or don't get up to - although it seems like a good idea to me (I just can't resist playing for laughs now can I)

My comedy songs are like little plays to me to be acted out - they could easily be just a series of jokes in a stand-up routine.

I guess if I insist on singing about sex all the time, or lack of it - it's the sort of sh*t I have to put up with - my straight songs are as rare as hen's teeth but they are a piece of me and my life. I'll have to record one and post it soon to re-dress the balance

Thanks for the comments Michelle and RTT x

[andy casson]

Ah Haylie just wonderful! Put a huge smile on my face! And very glad to hear it's (mostly) fictional! Must admit I am now very curious about the Screwfix song???

andy