Man gets testicles shredded by a crocodile

[Speed Demon]

A 70-year-old man from Zimbabwe narrowly escaped a crocodile attack as he crossed the Chivake River with his pants off, but he lost part of his testicles and suffered a few broken bones in the melee.

Jonah Maturure told the Sunday News that he'd taken off his trousers and put them in a tomato box above his head before he crossed the river. He'd crossed the same spot in the same river several times before, but this time, a giant croc was waiting for him.

"I was not suspecting anything. But when I was almost in the middle of the river I was attacked," he told the news website. "It mauled a chunk of my buttocks before attacking my manhood, tearing my testicles into shreds. The skin covering my manhood was partly torn but I quickly put my thumb in its mouth. It then grabbed my hand and I could hear my bones cracking."

Realizing that he wasn't going to save his personal possessions, he threw his tomato box in the river, The Sun reported. That move may have saved his life.
The beast loosened its death grip and swam straight for the tomato box. Maturure escaped, bleeding profusely from his nethers, and ran to a nearby house for help.

The battle was just one of a string of crocodile attacks recently in Gutu, an area with a spread-out population of just 78 people per mile.

[Blooby]

I feel pretty good about my place in the Universe right now.

Thanks for that.

Blooby

[Speed Demon]

I know what you mean, Blooby.

When something large and hungry is close enough to nick the family jewels off as an appetizer, it does
tend to rapidly focus attention on the subject that, until recently, used to be in hand.

[Blooby]

Well played.  Well played indeed.

[Speed Demon]

This changes the entire meaning of the term "shredding".

[Blooby]

That picture made me very, very unhappy.

[Speed Demon]

Blooby, why are you unhappy? You've still got yours.

Its just the psychological discomfort of imagining yourself in that situation.

Everybody enjoys a good nightmare. Don't you?