"Bin Laden's Dead" hardlock original - needs work?

[hardlock]

[soundclick]10725704[/soundclick]

Critics on the subject not requested, only on the music.    

Think I've about found the MBRs editing limits (at least for my brain).  

Some things with it I'm aware of that need work are the mixed volumes between parts for example. To bring up the vocals in the chorus but not the harmonies, I overdubed the solo part which had gotten time shifted a tad causing a mild echo effect.  Fixed the volume but added an unwanted effect.  Lots of this sort of thing causing some clutter and such.  

The song actually started out as a sort-of rap but my wife said she couldn't understand the lyrics so I stretched them out with longer verse size also adding some melody to the vocals.  Anyway, the idea was sound, just not the presentation?  You can decide but hope you enjoy the listen.  

Death to Osama (c) Ken J Hill 2011
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On nine eleven two thousand and one, they struck from above and all did run

They used our planes with suicide wills, hit the twin towers and thousands were killed
--
It was vowed the leader of this evil crime, Bin Ladin be caught and punished this time.

They searched high & low from hideout to cave, but he wasn't found and continued to rave
--
   Americans are proud and we will survive
   And we won't forget all of those who died

   Evil like his most be stopped at all cost
   But that won't bring back all those who were lost
--
Death to America he spouted with might, taunting for revenge to continue his fight

9 years later and 2 needless wars, now Obama our President finally evened the score
--
Found him in Pakistan where he shouldn't be, right in plain sight why didn't they see.

Obama sent in Navy Seal Team 6, who raided his compound and gave him his licks.
--
   Bin Ladin is dead, no longer a threat
   Seals found him in hiding, they had no regret

   Now buried at sea, not much more to say
   We'll never forget what happened that day
---

[Gritter]

I like the groove you got going on.

[Rata-tat-tat]

Nice one Hardlock... glad to see ya posting. I'll keep it nice ... very good song bro.

[Greeny]

A very well-constructed and listenable piece of work. Love the mellow phasing on the panned guitars - great production all round. And that solo is sweet as a nut. Classy stuff!

[Speed Demon]

Ken, you've produced a masterpiece! I love this song! Excellent story-telling, guitars and overall production.

You Da Man!

[SwanSong]

Great song... vox. and beat .. very cool . regards NEIL

[hardlock]

Thanks much everyone!  You're too kind.

[StephenM]

Love those guitar sounds.  The overall vibe..
Still though its hard for me, a little peon to understand how the gigantic intel network of the us didn't see this coming.  Hello everyone!  Lets all just keep eating our cheesebrgers.
Amazing song really!

[Rene Asologuitar]

Hi hardlock,
The beat is very engaging, and the guitar track is very enjoyable.
The melody is very nice, and the guitar solo is to die for!
Lovely song.
Rene

[tonyc]

great song , love your voice , and guitar and effects , nice break as well . .....cheers tony cee