Scroll down for oldrottenhead's addition.
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I had this vision of a 70's power trio kind of thing, and this is wanting something. I know not what. When I go back I'll dirty up the bass and change the rhythm tone. If I could sing like Paul Rodgers, I would. With my Bell's Palsy, I sound more like Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein: "Super duper!" Oddly, this is an improvement for me.
I think I need more help with the overall structure. Any constructive criticism would be appreciated.
Blooby
Well, I think you're exactly right.... it's about structure:
Song arrangement and also rhythmic structure.
70's power trio...? Go back and listen again to Cream and pay attention to what the drums, bass and guitar are doing rhythmicly. You will usually hear two distinct rhythmic elements.... sort of playing in rhythmic harmony with each other. (Sunshine of Your Love, Strange Brew... etc)
And usually the 'A' part and 'B' part will be a 8 or 16 bar theme that is distinct and recognizable.
Once this is established the lead part can wander and improv all over the place but the overall thing still hangs together.
Maybe what you don't like about what you hear in this piece now is that a solid foundation has not yet been established.
Hope that helps...
I like this song-I think of Rush when i hear it-Any Geddy Lee type singers out there?-that would fit the bill nicely.
Nice job-hope you're feeling better
Ron
ok second song tonight not counting secret collaboration with hoop hic, yes drinking has influenced me, i put a lyric over it here it is,its now called "thats the way its always bin", .
oldrottenhead, thank you so much.
It was always intended for some vocals, but I didn't know if it would hang together. I would have tried to sing myself, but it's deflating to see my pets run to all corners of the house when I open my mouth. Your vocal ties it together better like I hoped it would. Your contribution inspires me to keep tweaking this song, messing with the structure, as opposed to round-filing all the ideas contained within.
I initially liked the busy drum pattern over that off-kilter descending line (your verse and ultimately, last chorus...I think), but with your vocals, I regret not keeping that pattern simpler. I guess my initial thought was to have a simple chorus, with very few syllables floating over the top of that part, but I think a simplified drum pattern would also make that sound less busy.
I was going to do a much more aggressive solo, but I really like the way your vocals set it off. The outro solo seems a waste, especially since it has such a similar vibe to the guitar solo. If anybody has an opinion on how it should end, I'm all ears.
guitarron, thank you for the kind words. I'm curious as to why you think it sounds "Rush-y." By the way, I just relived my youth by seeing them in Charlotte on the tail-end of my vacation, and they were great. There was a South Park introduction to "Tom Sawyer" that was quite amusing. And what can you say about Neil Peart?
Hooper, as for the initial seventies tag, I think that came more from the roaming bass during certain sections. You just don't hear a lot of that upper-register bass playing these days. Must be all those hours I spent listening to Berry Oakley and even Mel Schacher. By the way, the bass was once again courtesy of a guitar through that brown Boss octave pedal. For those of you who don't want a bass, I think it does a passable job (and it still runs on batteries for portability's sake).
http://www.bosscorp.co.jp/products/en/OC-3/demos.html
oldrottenhead, please post the lyrics when you get a chance.
Peace.
Blooby
p.s.-Did I mention I was agnostic?
Quotep.s.-Did I mention I was agnostic?
hahahaha
will post lyrics when i sober up
I hear what Hooper is getting at, but all this needed was Jim's excellent lyrics! Sounds just fine to me guys, great colab.
hi blooby here are the lyrics as requested can i post this one at the nevermet site
www.soundclick.com/nevermet
That's the way it's always bin
What you want and what you get
Man you aint seen nuthin yet
Don't you know bout murphys law
Its comin to you one and all
Theres a pattern theres a shape
Man we all come up from apes
Seven days are just a week
The strong will always rule the meek
That's the way its always bin
I hear your waiting for a man
Hes been and gone aint coming back
Just cos its writ don't mean its true
Theyre playing you the fool
And so it goes around again
The destiny of man
Seven days are just a week
The strong will always rule the meek
That's the way its always bin
Never gonna change
That's the way its always bin
Never gonna change
They say if you have faith
You will find the way
Yeah Just believe
Whatever the hell they say
Theres a pattern theres a shape
Man we all come up from apes
Seven days are just a week
The strong will always rule the meek
That's the way its always bin
That's the way its always bin
What you want and what you get
Man you aint seen nuthin yet
Don't you know bout murphys law
Its comin to you one and all
Theres a pattern theres a shape
Man we all come up from apes
Seven days are just a week
The strong will always rule the meek
That's the way its always bin
That's the way its always bin
That's the way its always bin
And its never gonna change
I hear your waiting for a man
Hes been and gone aint coming back
Jim, you got hellhounds on your trail! LOL.
took the liberty and posted a vid on you tube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSzb22EikIQ
You just did that to show off your nice kitchen ;D More I listen to this more I like it, love the "7 days" line! Vid worked well, you do it on a phone? Lip sync needs some work tho, gave yourself away there ::)
did it on my daughters digital camera my casio exilim is away getting repaired as i dropped it on holiday. i mimed then removed sound from camera and replaced with mbr version so was really hard to sync but i think is ok.
my email box is empty since i posted this hope ive not upset anyone.
No upset here. Some may disagree with aggressive atheism, but that would be just hypocritical when I have to put up with all sorts of religious nutters knocking on my door. They only come once tho...
Enjoyed the video. I must say it made me feel rather voyeuristic. I have issues, though, and plenty of them. And I'm not wearing underwear to boot, but that's for another thread entirely.
Is there some sort of standard royalty agreement when the record companies come knocking?
Till we meet through song once again...
Peace.
Blooby
can i post this one at nevermet, if the record labels come knocking, im sure they will rip us off in a standard of some sort.
By all means, post away.
Thanks again.
Blooby
thats it posted blooby, let me know if you want any info or comments adjusted.
heres the link send it to your friends and lets get nevermets 1st no1 in the chart.
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6801428
thought id post this link to show where i was coming from with this song, nice to know benjamin franklyn and abraham lincoln but in particular mark twain shared my views
Quote"Faith is believing something you know ain't true."samuel clemens aka mark twain
http://www.wonderfulatheistsofcfl.org/Quotes.htm
ORH - I'm getting a Twain thang here.
Dig the atheism. Now there's a rich seam!
Here's a bump... what a collab.
Well done Rata-tat-tat missed this collab but glad I ,ve caught up, great rocky tune with great vox too, love,in it!!
excellent.........fantastic...........superb......marvelous..........tremendous.........magnificent....track...........ooooh yeaaaahhh!!!!!
spider bump
excellent bump of a most excellent collab !!
would love to hear another collab from you two !
i think we have done quite a few but would love to do some MoOre ;D
Quote from: oldrottenhead on July 15, 2011, 05:50:39 AMi think we have done quite a few but would love to do some MoOre ;D
:) I know ! ... what I ment was a NEW collab !
Just wandered in here, haven't been here for a loooong time, this was the first thing I opened and.....wow! Just love this, great powerful sound and love Jim's vox. Great collab guys, Blooby I love the powerful feel you got here. Oldy but goody!
Cheers,
Nigel
Quote from: thetworegs on April 08, 2011, 05:44:02 AMexcellent.........fantastic...........superb......marvelous..........tremendous.........magnificent....track...........ooooh yeaaaahhh!!!!!
Yeah!!!!!
Quote from: Oldrottenhead on August 10, 2008, 01:29:08 PMtook the liberty and posted a vid on you tube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSzb22EikIQ
Took a walk down memory lane. Loved this video James did.
love the brilliant guitar work... just brilliant.... rhy and leads !!!! Bass sounds good....and the drums are not too busy at all.... and Mr. Higgs did some great singin and wordin again.... good work....really good