This was wrtten in a bit of a rush... could sleep, so I figured I'd give it another shot... hope it's any good.
Enjoy, hopefully. ;D
Alone
How can one feel so much love yet cope with one
Who doesn't reciprocate those same feelings?
She's here but emotionally she's empty
My soul is hollow, filled with depression,
Anger, frustration, and emptiness, I hate myself
Alone in this cold world, with no support, no one to interact with
How much pain can one endure?
It's a love, hate relationship, with no way out
I am trapped in my misery, no escape
She has complete control over my being
Melancholy is overwhelming, how can I keep this up?
Being stretched so thin, will I snap?
Love is starting to be an illusion...
She claims that she still loves me, but hates me, what is that?
These frightening thoughts have taken over my soul
I try to hide my tears of sorrow, but sometimes it's Impossible
Falling down, falling fast and you don't care...
This room is constantly spinning...
I can't think rationally any longer
Melancholy is overwhelming, how can I keep this up?
Being stretched so thin, will I snap?
Love is starting to be an illusion...
She claims that she still loves me, but hates me, what is that?
I'm being mind fucked; nothing I do is good enough
A soul filled with so much sorrow and hatred
that it's dying, fading away....
Eyes black out from all the pain
Melancholy is overwhelming, how can I keep this up?
Being stretched so thin, will I snap?
Love is starting to be an illusion...
She claims that she still loves me, but hates me, what is that?
I still love her... but, will she still stay?
;) A little to dark and scarey for me. I am more a romantic! ;)
Well hey, I did take a little too many xanax's last night.
Besides, I am a dark and depressing person in general. Romance is great and all, but I haven't been in an romantic situation in quite some time.
Yes, these are some dark lyrics & you are a very good writer. Writing is a great outlet isn't it?
I am impressed with your writing abilities; but your last sentence scares me to be honest...
Well, I guess we could always take that part out... that would be the first time I've changed a lyric, but maybe it's for the best. Besides, now that I read it again, it doesn't flow well anyways.
There, I just through in an extra line really quick, and deleted the others. This line was just tossed in as a replacement, so it's a lame one.
Came back for a second look ;) See you've changed a line!. this fits a little better I believe!! Course I'm not much of a writer! Have to admit I don't know what Xanex is!. And you know something your are becoming a good writer! I think that's what makes for the best writings. Life's ups and downs that's what it's all about and music is a way to express those thoughts! It will be interesting to watch you write about lifes up side! If you put as much emotion into that side of life, you will be well of your way to becoming an acomplished writer!! I will be watching to see how you develope your skills!! ;)
Quote from: Wiley on January 24, 2010, 10:57:07 AMCame back for a second look ;) See you've changed a line!. this fits a little better I believe!! Course I'm not much of a writer! Have to admit I don't know what Xanex is!. And you know something your are becoming a good writer! I think that's what makes for the best writings. Life's ups and downs that's what it's all about and music is a way to express those thoughts! It will be interesting to watch you write about lifes up side! If you put as much emotion into that side of life, you will be well of your way to becoming an acomplished writer!! I will be watching to see how you develope your skills!! ;)
Thanks, maybe one day in the future I could try to write about something positive, but there really isn't or hasn't been positive for a very long time. So I guess I have to unload.
:D It's ok to unload... but no positive? I don't agree with that!! I think there's been some pretty good positive here in the last few days!! Hell I made 2 different songs out of one set of lyrics!! I'd say that was inspiring and positive. Wouldn't have done that without your words. ;)
PJ
Quote from: Wiley on January 25, 2010, 07:23:33 PM:D It's ok to unload... but no positive? I don't agree with that!! I think there's been some pretty good positive here in the last few days!! Hell I made 2 different songs out of one set of lyrics!! I'd say that was inspiring and positive. Wouldn't have done that without your words. ;)
PJ
No, not much positive in my life, so far it's just my relationship with my father, and this website.
Thanks for you support and nice words.
Hey man,you are putting out some deep stuff, but when we start out writing we have to write what we know and that's usually what we're experiencing at that moment in time. If you're in a dark place in your life then some times your work will reflect that. i checked out some of your stuff on your myspace page and it is obvious that you are a really good writer. And you seem to have a passion for it.
I always thought I could write but I never had the confidence to really try it. But last year I decided to try writing songs but I didn't want to just write a bunch of OK songs. I wanted to write a few really good songs. I create a character then I become that character in my mind and then I put him through somethings. Some good some bad. People are always telling how amazing it is that I put my life experiences in my music.
but the truth is not one of my songs is auto biographical, but I just thank them for their support and keep it mov'n. Plus my life is so boring , if I waited for something to happen in my life before I wrote a song, I wouldn't have any songs. :)
As I was reading some of your work and it is dark man, the chorus from one of my songs came to mind. The last line is " Remember..... to get to the joy...you gotta fight THROUGH THE PAIN"
Sorry about the long ramble man but it's late and you had my undivided attention. Lucky you, huh :D
I'll post the song "Though The Pain" in the original song section. let me know what you think. It's not as good as Alice In chains but it my first attempt at a rock song.
Keep writing.
-Nelson
Thsnks for the feedbsck Nelson! I thinik thst I'm just s dark person in genersl... so I'd imagine thst my lyrics will be on the negitive side.
You see, I never had this "passion" for writting anything, until last week... words started coming out.
I just write what I'm feeling at that specific time. I never thought thst I woulld ever turn out to be a poet, let alone a lyrist. My dream since i was a little was to become a singer/lyrist... just never thought I hsd the ability to do so. As you can imagine, this forum has been a very big support system.
Sometimes it's better to be alone and miserable than it is to be with somebody and it be worse than miserable. At least when you're alone, you can break the trend by yourself.
QuoteI don't agree with that!! I think there's been some pretty good positive here in the last few days!! Hell I made 2 different songs out of one set of lyrics!! I'd say that was inspiring and positive. Wouldn't have done that without your words.
Even Eeyore finds things to smile about.
(http://images1.fanpop.com/images/photos/1300000/Eeyore-disney-1348371-700-908.jpg)
I'm still married to her, but yet I am alone...
this is a hit worldwide why
QuoteI wanna hold em' like they do in texas, please
fold em', let em' hit me, raise it, baby stay with me (I love it)
love, game, intuition, play the cards with spades to start
and after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart
oh o-oh oh oh, o-o-o-o-o-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I got
(2x)
can't read my, can't read my
no, he can't read my poker face
(she's got to love nobody)
(2x)
p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(m-m-m-ma)
(2x)
I wanna roll with him, a hard pair we will be
a little gambling is fun when you're with me (I love it)
russian roulette is not the same without a gun
and baby when it's love, if it's not rough it isn't fun (fun)
oh o-oh oh oh, o-o-o-o-o-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I got
(2x)
can't read my, can't read my
no, he can't read my poker face
(she's got to love nobody)
(2x)
p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(m-m-m-ma)
(2x)
(m-m-m-ma) (2x)
I won't tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you
'cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin
I'm not lying, I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning (ma)
just like a chick in the casino, take your bank before I pay you out
I promise this, promise this
check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous
can't read my, can't read my
no, he can't read my poker face
(she's got to love nobody)
(6x)
p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face (2x)
(she's got to love nobody)
p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(m-m-m-ma)
p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(m-m-m-ma)
p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(m-m-m-ma)
p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(m-m-m-ma)
'cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i will raise you a jam filled doughnut but mind its hot and burny
:D :D :D
lmfao!
I'm gettin it on with my scone
Can't part with my tart
Got my eye on the pie
When I finish gonna fart? :-\
but can you make fritters?
gritter
What the hell?
Hey Mav, it looks like a couple of guys hi-jacked your thread for some comic relief...don't be offended, this sort of thing happens from time to time :P
I can see that...
... wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy?
Maverick, on a serious note, you have lots to say and tho the depressing stuff can only take you so far before it starts to sound over indulgent or rambling, it's still material to work with that has passion and emotion.
I'd say it's time to get down to Editing if you are trying to get a song out of it.
It's going to have to be sung, so some semblance of order and rhyme might be a good place to start?
See how FEW words you can use to convey meaning.
Even if it seems enigmatic, it can be a very good thing if people have to think a bit about your meaning. Metaphor is powerful, particularly original rather than overused.
See if you can get them to have some rhythm of their own.
Great words of advice M_Glenn_M!! i can use that for taking some of my emotional mind dumps and assembling them into likeable songs....
I don`t have a bit of advise for you Maverick31, I could say I`ve been there, and some of the best writing we do is in that emotional state. this leans towards lyric more than poetry. peace to you.