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Post Your Work => Original Songs => Topic started by: Pru on May 08, 2025, 03:08:18 PM

Title: Anguish
Post by: Pru on May 08, 2025, 03:08:18 PM
my only thing with this song is the stupid title which now seems a bit lame. any serious suggestions for a different title are welcome ...


I REMEMBER SO WELL THAT DAY OF TOTAL JOY

THE DAY I GAVE BIRTH TO MY BEAUTIFUL BOY

A LOT OF PAIN AND A LOT OF ANGUISH

MAYBE JUST A LITTLE COARSE LANGUAGE

FIRST TIME HOLDING THAT BABY OF MINE

HAD ME FLOATING UP ON CLOUD NINE

ALL THE PAIN AND ALL THE ANGUISH

ALL DISAPPEARED; ALL GONE ALL VANISHED

I HOPE MY BOY GROWS TO BE A GOOD MAN

STRAIGHT AND STRONG AS ANY MAN CAN

STANDS HIS GROUND; HIS CHARACTER TO ESTABLISH

WITHOUT MUCH PAIN, WITHOUT MUCH ANGUISH.
Title: Re: Anguish
Post by: OdilonGreen on May 08, 2025, 07:10:39 PM
This has such soaring, sweeping music, with a touch a mystique, nicely reflecting the magic of bringing a new person into the world. (Or so I understand, not being a parent myself.) I like the gentle beat that comes in at about 1:20, pulsating and relaxed, kind of like an emerging new heartbeat... and then the flourishing joy bursting out at 2:10, as the child arrives. It all works very well thematically. And the vocals, as always, are entrancing.
Title: Re: Anguish
Post by: Ted on May 09, 2025, 11:08:41 AM
I must say, I saved this for last today. I was not in a hurry to hear "Anguish."

This is a genre of song that has interested me for a long time: The "I love my kid more than I can possibly express" song. I think they are hard to pull off. Your song hits some of the usual beats: The first time I held/saw/smelled my baby, mammal evolution hit me up with an unprecedented flood of happy/loving/nuturant feelings.

Where you depart from the formula is where the song is strongest. It's where you shift from love and joy to worry and hope – because being a parent means accepting that you will lose control of your child. They will face difficulties, and they might turn out to be a piece of shit. In the last verse, the love is still there, but you introduce vulnerability and realism.

Quote from: Pru on May 08, 2025, 03:08:18 PMI hope my boy grows to be a good man
Straight and strong as any man can
Stands his ground; his character to establish
Without much pain, without much anguish.

At some point, hoping is all you can do.

BTW: My favorite song in this genre is "Oh Lord" by Foxy Shazaam (https://youtu.be/Om_VWBua0_M).
Title: Re: Anguish
Post by: Johnbee on May 09, 2025, 02:58:39 PM
Very powerful lyric line with an equally powerful musical background.  When I first started to listen I thought it might be about some kind of underdog (like Manson or Bundy) but it just turns out to be a mother's sincerest hope for success in her son's life.

 :) John B
Title: Re: Anguish
Post by: TPB on May 09, 2025, 07:19:33 PM
the build up in the start is great and what a message anybody who has raise a child can relate
Well Done
Tim
Title: Re: Anguish
Post by: the physics teacher on May 10, 2025, 01:43:21 AM
Nothing wrong with the title( had to look for the meaning) it is just the way you can feel with new arrivals.
Perfect performance of all invalved.
Enjoyed it verymuch.
Title: Re: Anguish
Post by: StephenM on May 10, 2025, 06:41:35 AM
the song at the end goes almost acapella.. almost.. that buzzing synth thing so very faintly is brilliant.
the song soars from the git with that guitar solo rising to the skies... then down into almost silence... almost like a movie about intrigue!  Then the plot if unfolded.

I am a bit different listener than many people.  I tend to hear all the song as "music" and that includes the voices and lyrics kind of all mixed in and i don't really hear the lyrics.. those I have to study when I am ready, which is usually after many listens.  I have changed somewhat since I became a "songwriter" as I have realized that lyrics are indeed important...

I like the subject very much as I have 3 children and I was with my (son with first wife, son and daughter with second) wife on each birth.. between the first and second child was 18 years... between the last two was 2 years.  My children are the greatest reason I can find to be alive (other than my faith in God).  So I absolutely understand your sentiment in the song.

I think the title is ok for the song... I suppose this would be a hard one to title. 
the track is real good...

I liked Ted's analysis as per usual...
Title: Re: Anguish
Post by: DarrenG / The Devil's Toupee on May 11, 2025, 03:45:11 AM
This is really cool, brilliant song Pru. The style is something you don't hear often these days. I love all the silences and the bursts of loud music, guitars etc and then the quietness. Really works well.
Some great vocals / harmonies too. I think the Title works well. There's Anguish in giving birth and then worrying about the son as he grows up. Yeah, works ok to me.