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Post Your Work => Original Songs => Topic started by: Greeny (No longer active) on April 09, 2021, 07:59:16 AM

Title: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: Greeny (No longer active) on April 09, 2021, 07:59:16 AM
The drum pattern is basically lifted from 'A Forest' by the Cure. Then there's me with a MiM Strat through various pedals, Ibanez bass (played with a pick), and vocals. All very 80's.

Having finally learned how to play barre chords  ::) I'm now making use of them.

dirty gods
with dirty hands
social stigmas and stigmatas
party hats
all crumpled up
your vacation plans are all non-starters

catching rays catching ultraviolet
dismembered saints of ultra-violence
kneeling to
an effigy of fire who'll kill the rain

soak it up
absorb the sin
vitamins and sorrow through your skin
people come
and people go
left behind like a holy relic toe

catching rays catching ultraviolet
dismembered saints of ultra-violence
kneeling to
an effigy of fire who'll kill the rain

vitamin D

catching rays catching ultraviolet
dismembered saints of ultra-violence
kneeling to
an effigy of fire who'll kill the rain

vitamin D
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: DarrenG / The Devil's Toupee on April 09, 2021, 09:15:04 AM
This is " 80's" but also very original, I love it. Yes It could be easily a cure song, has that sound. Love them jangly guitars and the bass sound fantastic. You always write great lyrics. Great vocals and production. the tempo and beat are very catchy. Yeah some barre chords can be buggers to play :) darren
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: StephenM on April 09, 2021, 09:53:45 PM
just read the lyrics before listening to the song...wow...a heavy hitter lyrically...

Music reminds me a bit of REM in their best days... big sound...wall of guitar....and those vocals down inside the mix...loud enough but the music is very big and the vocals a little less obvious but still smashing....of course I just love your accent... I have heard tons of folks from the UK sing and hardly every do they show their accent (which is a shame I think)....

interesting how you got around using barre chords after these hundreds of songs.... not sure they will make you better though because I liked your playing always before...but it will give you a few more cheat options I suppose... if it weren't for barre chords and slang variants of them I wouldn't be able to play hardly....
the more I learn about guitar and mostly just figuring out how to play my own way, the more I love the infinite possibilities available to create on the fretboard...
btw... I really love 80's music...it had the best stuff in it...
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: Ferryman_1957 on April 10, 2021, 02:27:30 AM
I obviously love the groove on this one, but I also love those melodic riffs, the nice little three-note one that it starts and that you echo with the vocals and then the lead riff after the chorus. Catchy as hell, and they really suit the flange-y sound you used. Lots of 80s inspired goodness here but your lyrics add another level to this. Really excellent work, sound like they might be inspired by what we've seen on our screens in the UK in recent weeks?

It's very nicely put together as well, sounds great and all the guitar sounds are super, you are the master of your pedalboard! If you can now play barre chords, you can form a punk band....... :D
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: Groundy on April 10, 2021, 02:55:24 AM
Nice one ,Trim, what a cracker, back to the 80s
Reminds me must take my bit D...
Well done... Alex
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: thetworegs on April 10, 2021, 03:39:35 AM
The tracks so sparkly and bright I think I've got a tan and of course loads of vitamin D
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: Pete C on April 10, 2021, 09:39:48 AM
You may have put thoughts in my mind by mentioing the drum pattern was lifted from the Cure, but the song does remind me very much of the Cure and I could imagine Robert Smith singing some of the lines. Great song and interesting lyrics !

Pete
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: Farrell Jackson on April 10, 2021, 11:30:31 AM
Wow you have great clarity with this mix Tim! Everything stands out well with zero muddiness. Cool words, vocals and I love the bass. You've nailed those barre chords....your picking is very precise. Well done!

Farrell
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: Ray Brookes on April 10, 2021, 02:50:28 PM
Another great song, Tim; excellent lyrics and so well produced. I can certainly hear a Cure vibe and perhaps a bit of REM as Stephen says above. Some years ago I took my daughter to a Cure concert as she was a big fan at the time. I swear, I was the only guy in the audience not wearing mascara LOL.
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: Bluesberry on April 10, 2021, 07:25:11 PM
really gret groove here...this is damn catchy...lyrics fine as heck.....that chorus just lifts
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: StephenM on April 10, 2021, 08:38:22 PM
Quote from: Ray Brookes on April 10, 2021, 02:50:28 PMAnother great song, Tim; excellent lyrics and so well produced. I can certainly hear a Cure vibe and perhaps a bit of REM as Stephen says above. Some years ago I took my daughter to a Cure concert as she was a big fan at the time. I swear, I was the only guy in the audience not wearing mascara LOL.

I honestly never heard the Cure much Ray...but I have seen them mentioned on here a lot so I will have to check it out...as to your "mascara" comment...
there is a band called the "Ben Folds Five"....they are from the Charlotte and Raleigh NC area....anyway Ben is a piano player singer and does that alone and has a band too....so he wrote this song where the lyrics are "I have your old ID where you are dressed up like the Cure"....

here is the song if you'd like to hear it..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y1wm7CFRCQ
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: Oldrottenhead on April 15, 2021, 07:13:06 AM
Magic! that cured ma rickets  :D
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: BerryPatch on April 15, 2021, 07:39:12 AM
Excellent little song. Bouncy groove and very interesting lyrics. Love the guitar sound you got here.
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: Redler on April 15, 2021, 10:23:02 AM
A damn good job, again! The guitar tones sound so good and fit nicely onto the atmosphere of your song. Excellent work on the lyrics...a bit new wave poetry to my ear.
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: Geir on April 23, 2021, 01:26:51 AM
Melodic as usual. 
A great groove as usual.
Nice licks and chord changes as usual.



Love it .... as usual ;)
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: Hilary on April 24, 2021, 03:13:25 AM
Intelligent, interesting, edgy lyrics and a track with a bit of grit.

Classy.
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: kenny mac on April 24, 2021, 03:36:27 AM
I had to actually scroll through the comments  as I thought I had put on in.
Ive had this playing in my car and love it.
I love the play between the vocal and guitar.
It has an uplifting vibe.
Im a fan, superb song.
Title: Re: 'Vitamin D' - Greeny Original
Post by: T.C. Elliott on April 24, 2021, 04:36:52 AM
I love that intro riff, that little three note motif. Such a simple hook that works so damn well. And this lyric is excellent, very good. My only suggestion is that the hi-hat either be toned down/eq'd or maybe reduced in volume every so slightly. I love that it's driving the song along but it might be a hair too bright. But it's such a minor point compared to the excellent writing and music. Don't take that as a criticism, because I like this very much.