Title: Undone
Post by: T.C. Elliott on February 27, 2021, 07:08:25 AM
Post by: T.C. Elliott on February 27, 2021, 07:08:25 AM
Here's a song I wrote from a photograph on a pinterest board just yesterday. I like how it turned out.
Undone - T.C. Elliott
Eyes stare at me
See through my skin
I feel transparent
In this hell I'm in
Vultures fly around
They pick clean my bones
Sifting through the carnage
They won't leave me alone
And the threadbare attack
It uncovers me
The weight upon m y back
Will demolish me
And I don't know
What I've become
I don't know
But I've come undone
I take a look around
No-one meets my eyes
It seems the mortal flesh
Is an effective disguise
Love will slowly fade
Like waking from a dream
Losing half-wrought memories
From the in between
And the threadbare attack
It uncovers me
The weight upon m y back
Will demolish me
And I don't know
What I've become
I don't know
But I've come undone
And I don't know
What I've become
I don't know
But I've come undone
See through my skin
I feel transparent
In this hell I'm in
Vultures fly around
They pick clean my bones
Sifting through the carnage
They won't leave me alone
And the threadbare attack
It uncovers me
The weight upon m y back
Will demolish me
And I don't know
What I've become
I don't know
But I've come undone
I take a look around
No-one meets my eyes
It seems the mortal flesh
Is an effective disguise
Love will slowly fade
Like waking from a dream
Losing half-wrought memories
From the in between
And the threadbare attack
It uncovers me
The weight upon m y back
Will demolish me
And I don't know
What I've become
I don't know
But I've come undone
And I don't know
What I've become
I don't know
But I've come undone
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: T.C. Elliott on February 27, 2021, 07:08:47 AM
Post by: T.C. Elliott on February 27, 2021, 07:08:47 AM
Here is the photo I used.
(https://songcrafters.org/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=30774.0;attach=191284)
(https://songcrafters.org/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=30774.0;attach=191284)
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: Farrell Jackson on February 27, 2021, 08:08:06 AM
Post by: Farrell Jackson on February 27, 2021, 08:08:06 AM
Nicely done T.C.! The wide spread acoustic sounds great as do the vocals. That's quite a good lyric that you've pulled from the freaky photo. Well done all around!
Farrell
Farrell
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: TPB on February 27, 2021, 10:18:33 AM
Post by: TPB on February 27, 2021, 10:18:33 AM
The photo and the song fit together like a glove hard thing to do if you just saw the pic loving the acoustic on this song and the vocal are great too
Tim
Tim
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: Mike_S on February 27, 2021, 05:20:49 PM
Post by: Mike_S on February 27, 2021, 05:20:49 PM
Shit this is brilliant. I was about to sign off for the night but this started playing. It's impossible not to comment. Great song, great vocals great all round performance. I love this.
Mike
Mike
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: Pine on February 27, 2021, 06:59:01 PM
Post by: Pine on February 27, 2021, 06:59:01 PM
I'm with Mike...loved this. The sound of the acoustics is GREAT. Freaky pic but lyrics are on it like verbal clothes.
Excellent vocals. This is a grower as the melody is powerful. Instrumental minimalism matches the theme. Ace!
Excellent vocals. This is a grower as the melody is powerful. Instrumental minimalism matches the theme. Ace!
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: Ray Brookes on February 27, 2021, 07:57:24 PM
Post by: Ray Brookes on February 27, 2021, 07:57:24 PM
Wow, what a fantastic vocal. Great production too. Weird photo BTW; she looks a bit anorexic.
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: Bluesberry on February 27, 2021, 08:08:38 PM
Post by: Bluesberry on February 27, 2021, 08:08:38 PM
killer chorus man, killer....thats great songcrafting.....yup love that chorus
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: BerryPatch on February 27, 2021, 09:10:07 PM
Post by: BerryPatch on February 27, 2021, 09:10:07 PM
Great storytelling and awesome vocals. Very nice mix and arrangement as well
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: Kenneth on February 27, 2021, 10:07:21 PM
Post by: Kenneth on February 27, 2021, 10:07:21 PM
That should have been twice as long. Very inspiring.
Nicely done, it fired me up.
Nicely done, it fired me up.
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: Nelson on March 02, 2021, 05:32:16 PM
Post by: Nelson on March 02, 2021, 05:32:16 PM
Nice arrangement/mix and production here.
Love the Piercing vocal and the lyrics.
Almost expecting to hear that haunting guitar from Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game"
Hats off 2 U, T.C.
Love the Piercing vocal and the lyrics.
Almost expecting to hear that haunting guitar from Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game"
Hats off 2 U, T.C.
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: StephenM on March 02, 2021, 05:46:53 PM
Post by: StephenM on March 02, 2021, 05:46:53 PM
When I see a post by TC I know I am in for a treat...and this really is a treat...an aural treat....
love the style,it's your own...very much.... the way you record and mix guitars is awesome.... and just enough bass.... swirling lead in the backdrop.... your vocals here are good as always...a bit different sound...a little...maybe a different way to record or embellish?
I keep trying to get off SC to go watch TV and then I see another song i gotta hear....lol I have been intending to end this session for an hour.....
love the style,it's your own...very much.... the way you record and mix guitars is awesome.... and just enough bass.... swirling lead in the backdrop.... your vocals here are good as always...a bit different sound...a little...maybe a different way to record or embellish?
I keep trying to get off SC to go watch TV and then I see another song i gotta hear....lol I have been intending to end this session for an hour.....
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: Ferryman_1957 on March 03, 2021, 09:06:42 AM
Post by: Ferryman_1957 on March 03, 2021, 09:06:42 AM
I like how this turned out as well. It's really open sounding and direct, you create great space between the acoustic guitars for the vocals, which are superbly performed, especially the high parts when you sing "I don't know what I've become". The little lead flourishes are very effective as well.
The lyrics are really good, very imaginative and you created some great verbal imagery from the inspiration of that photo. Really well put together and recorded, great stuff TC. Well done.
The lyrics are really good, very imaginative and you created some great verbal imagery from the inspiration of that photo. Really well put together and recorded, great stuff TC. Well done.
Title: Re: Undone
Post by: DarrenG / The Devil's Toupee on March 03, 2021, 02:24:47 PM
Post by: DarrenG / The Devil's Toupee on March 03, 2021, 02:24:47 PM
That's an excellent song, really nice sound and production. The guitar and your vocals are top notch. It sounds a lot like a Tom petty track..which is good! :)