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Post Your Work => Original Songs => Topic started by: Hilary on December 07, 2020, 12:20:46 PM

Title: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Hilary on December 07, 2020, 12:20:46 PM
Probably best not to play it at work  8)

Hello it's me and Ferryman. It was all my idea  ;D

I asked Ferryman if he would so a punk song with me called Designer Vagina and at the point he didn't know what I would do and I didn't know if I could do it.

Anyway - he sent me a banging track and this is what transpired . . .

Thanks very much Ferryman and thanks for mixing it too!

Designer Vagina

It is a designer vagina
It is a designer vagina

You can bling it, you can zing it, you can spring it you can wing it
You can nip it you can tuck it you can trim it you can pluck it
You can ink it you can think it you can drink it you can synch it
You can wax it you can vax it you can old school and fax it

A little bit of topiary makes all the difference

It is a designer vagina
It is a designer vagina
It is a designer vagina
Oh

You can wig it you can jig it swig it you can frig it
You can shine it you can mine it you can sign it you can wine it
You can plait it you can chat it you can hat it you can twat it
You can buff it you can chuff it you can fluff it you can muff it

Oh it's simply marvellous, everyone says so

Shall I tell you a little bit about vaginal rejuvenation

It's where they snip away all of your insecurities
It's where they snip away all of your insecurities
They pimp up your ride, you won't feel a thing

Snip, snip, snip away
Snip, snip, snip away
Snip, snip, snip away
It's where they snip away all of your insecurities
Snip way all of your insecurities




It is a designer vagina
It is a designer vagina
It is a designer vagina
Oh

You can be it you can flee it you can see it you can free it
You can buck it you can chuck it you can suck it you can duck it
You can bring it you can sing it you can cling it you can ring it
You can coil it you can foil it you can oil it you can toil it

It's where they snip away all of your insecurities

It is a designer vagina
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Ferryman_1957 on December 07, 2020, 01:12:18 PM
 :o :-[ ;D ;D

The technical stuff:
All parts played on the Bass VI. Bass part was DI'd, the guitar-y parts went through the Simplifier amp/cab sim and a Life Pedal distortion. Mixed in Samplitude, a few plugins used (eg a doubler on Hilary's harmony parts). Drums are from the BR800 so are a bit repetitive and limited, the only thing I don't like about the backer. Mastered in Ozone 9.

This was huge, huge fun. I had no idea what to expect back when I sent Hilary the music and I was floored by her brilliant vocals. Not only is the performance amazing (loving that punk sneer), the way she completely ignored my simplistic song structure is really clever and takes a simple punk thrash to a new level. And I crack up (see what I did there) when I read the lyrics.

I did have to explain to my wife what the heck it was I was working on....... 
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: pjd1 on December 07, 2020, 01:53:09 PM
Bloody Brilliant , i am sitting with my headphones on listening to the song , just hope i dont start singing it tomorrow when i am with my wife !!! fabulous backing track from Ferryman, always going to be a good song with his skills in playing and recording , Hilary what an amazing vocal performance and composition , you have just hit the mark on this vocally , just great stuff , well done perfect collab

Dunny 
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Ray Brookes on December 07, 2020, 05:47:56 PM
A designer vagina??? What could be finer??? Sounds like you two had a lot of fun putting this one together.
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: StephenM on December 07, 2020, 07:28:09 PM
When I saw the name I just had to come get a whiff of it!  And this smells very good...like wow wee....you guys brought out the absolute best in each other...Nigels playing and sounds are incendiary and geez louise Hilary those vocals..... I have to think this would be a you tube hit ....absolute millions views...gotta be....and the lyrics are crazy....
always surprising me Hilary....still smh...
Nigel, i can imagine what your wife was thinking...lol...man ....ok... I will be sharing this at work...  please, please, please do more....I think the drums were fine Nigel...
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: maxit on December 08, 2020, 05:06:42 AM
Too Punk To Be True !!! Amazing !!! Outstanding !!!
Just Next to sex pistols is fair to place this masterpiece lol
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Frank53 on December 08, 2020, 07:28:21 AM
Very creative, and great vocals. The music is the perfect accompaniment for this punky little piece. Well thought out (and funny) lyrics. You don't hear very many songs about this particular subject.  ;D  Well done!
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Farrell Jackson on December 08, 2020, 09:33:03 AM
Hehehehe...you said vagina ;D  Nigel, well done with the VI Bass and Hilary the words and vocal performance make this a very memorable song...in a good way!

Farrell
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Groundy on December 08, 2020, 10:48:42 AM
Brilliant Hilary, Ferryman, made my day, well done guys.  Alex
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: StephenM on December 08, 2020, 10:54:24 AM
ok... back for another listen...this recording and mixing is absolutely big time....fabulous... what ever you did Nigel it is really super.... and the kind of mixes I have noticed on your earlier stuff...and i would add yet again that Hilary's vocals are bloody fantastic...and the way you were able to bring them to the mix is just fantastic....lots of little details that i don't think any real punk could get too...that is a top shelf production.... I would be jealous but i am just not that type.... I would come to your mixing seminar though,,,your recording seminar.... Greeny gets the same kind of mixes...
also the lyrics are just superb! 
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Pete C on December 08, 2020, 11:53:44 AM
Fannytastic !

After a 50 mile drive home from work in the pouring rain on a busy motorway, that's really cheered me up !

Well done both of you !

Pete
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Greeny (No longer active) on December 09, 2020, 03:24:52 AM
Absolutely magnificent. Nigel does this energetic, edgy post-punk thrash better than anyone, but that vocal! Channeling the Poly Styrene, and absolutely epic. It's so uniquely British. Superb!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: hardlock on December 09, 2020, 05:08:59 AM
Oh, Hilary.....what will you think of next?  Fun tune for sure!
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Johnbee on December 10, 2020, 11:57:58 AM
We're you the first in your neighborhood to own this "designer" model?  If so, you must be very proud.
Great collab.  Nice work by both.
 ;) John B
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: SE on December 10, 2020, 05:28:13 PM
Wow, did not know  what  to  expect  but to say what a track just so good.I knew the track from Nigel would  be killer but Hilary,s vocal performance and lyrics are just so cool, best  track I,ve heard for a long time!
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Blooby on December 10, 2020, 05:33:44 PM

Just how does this designer vagina snip away at your insecurities?

I loved this. I loved the lyrics. I loved the vocal delivery. I really, really loved the music. I just love vaginas.

Blooby
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: StephenM on December 10, 2020, 07:28:44 PM
Quote from: Blooby on December 10, 2020, 05:33:44 PMJust how does this designer vagina snip away at your insecurities?

I loved this. I loved the lyrics. I loved the vocal delivery. I really, really loved the music. I just love vaginas.

Blooby

oh my gosh...that last sentence...that is just so funny and man it's true....
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: chapperz66 on December 11, 2020, 03:21:23 AM
Brilliant stuff!  Glad I listened with the headphones on - I'm not sure what she would have made of it.  Cheered me up. 

Paul
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Johnny McAleer on December 11, 2020, 03:32:19 AM
Can't help but agree with everyone else. This is truly priceless and worthy of a few more listens. A cracker of a tribute to the genre. Great stuff!
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Mike_S on December 11, 2020, 09:21:40 AM
Hehe...

I saw the title of this a couple of nights back when I saw a few comments come up over this song. I am due a listen to some songs on Songcrafters soon, but I am just having a quick listen to this now... couldn't resist!

It's bloody brilliant... very authentic Punky sound guys. Those guitars are brilliant, punky, raw and to the point. That lyric is so good... I have to 100% agree with Stephen... this has YouTube hit written all over it. If someone could somehow come up with a video - how the hell could we do that without getting banned though - there must be a way!!

Great stuff

Mike
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: WarpCanada on December 12, 2020, 03:27:35 PM
What a great (if unexpected) song topic.   Vocals are great.  Lyrics are hilarious.  Fucking brilliant, if you don't mind my saying so.

Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Redler on December 13, 2020, 01:49:00 AM
Wow!!!

Great punky feel...this has a strong '78 vibe! Could be a lost Poly Styrene track! Hilary - punk scene is the new career for you!

Great backer, Nigel! The bass guitar tone is amazing!
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Redler on December 13, 2020, 02:02:10 AM
Another listen...
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: IanR on December 13, 2020, 11:15:02 PM
I love this.

Congratulations Hilary and Nigel, what an achievement.
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: kenny mac on December 14, 2020, 12:43:29 AM
Hilary your a breath of fresh air,in times like this we all need a laugh.
Good stuff.
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: simonjol on December 15, 2020, 01:12:56 AM
A pelvic floor master workout! :D fantastic lyric and just expertly done all round guys.
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: launched on December 15, 2020, 10:03:24 PM
Sweet shit I don't know how to comment on how well you guys put this together. I'm amazed in every way. It's a vocal and musical match to no end! I was at the point where I played it enough to not want to listen anymore. And then I had to play it one more time...

It's simply marvelous, everyone says so!!!

Yup Yup I love it!
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Flash Harry on December 16, 2020, 05:34:40 PM
I knew Polyurethane back in the late '70's, she was great!

Mind you, she would not have shied away from the obvious progression.

You can buck it you can chuck it you can suck it you can ...

We are all grown ups with a 13 year old mentality.

Do it again but with fucking sweary words this time!!!!

Incredible - this is on the Songcrafters World Tour - probably the last Encore!
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Hilary on December 17, 2020, 01:22:22 AM
Quote from: Flash Harry on December 16, 2020, 05:34:40 PMDo it again but with fucking sweary words this time!!!!


Thanks for all the comments guys - who knew a song could turn back time to when you were all 13!

I deliberately avoided swearing in it (there are 2 tiny swearwords) because I had a line at the end that I was going to use with the f-word in and I didn't want it to lose it's impact but I didn't use the line on the final take.

When I casually mentioned to my family that I was going to be singing a punk song about a designer vagina, my son said "Well you lost the shock factor with me when you got the vagina puppets!"

Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: pjd1 on December 17, 2020, 12:50:14 PM
Great stuff back for a listen well done you guys

Dunny
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: OsCKilO on February 23, 2021, 02:48:57 PM
Wow....!
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: BerryPatch on February 23, 2021, 03:07:50 PM
Didn't know what to expect when I first saw the title but damn, this is a real rocker. Totally punk. Your vocals make it have that old school sound and I have to commend the great mix. Good one Nigel :) that Bass VI is craaazy versitle. Awesome job guys
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: StephenM on February 23, 2021, 05:54:25 PM
Quote from: Hilary on December 17, 2020, 01:22:22 AM
Quote from: Flash Harry on December 16, 2020, 05:34:40 PMDo it again but with fucking sweary words this time!!!!


Thanks for all the comments guys - who knew a song could turn back time to when you were all 13!

I deliberately avoided swearing in it (there are 2 tiny swearwords) because I had a line at the end that I was going to use with the f-word in and I didn't want it to lose it's impact but I didn't use the line on the final take.

When I casually mentioned to my family that I was going to be singing a punk song about a designer vagina, my son said "Well you lost the shock factor with me when you got the vagina puppets!"

Lol....wont ask about V puppets!  Your son's line cracked me up
Title: Re: Designer Vagina (Poly Europhane and the Screaming Organisms) (NSFW)
Post by: Nelson on February 23, 2021, 06:02:20 PM
Absolutely brilliant.
That Ferryman track is bangin and Hillary match it with her hilarious lyrics and killer performance.

great collab guys
 
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