Post Your Work => Original Songs => Topic started by: T.C. Elliott on May 08, 2011, 07:54:59 PM
Title: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: T.C. Elliott on May 08, 2011, 07:54:59 PM
I co-wrote this song with Mark L. Berry and am really happy with the songwriting aspect. It is a companion song for a chapter out of his memoir. I'm very honored to have worked on this particular chapter as it is as moving chapter of prose as I've ever read.
I really thought the guitar/vox demo was perfect, but now I'm hearing another arrangement. Feel free, as my recent want, to give harsh, difficult, critical feedback if you so desire. I'm really wanting to know if anything jumps out that doesn't work for YOU the listener. Thanks for listening.
Learning To Breathe
Lyric: Mark L. Berry and T.C. Elliott Music: T.C. Elliott Performance: T.C. Elliott
[reverbnation]8530399[/reverbnation]
Time:
0:00
Volume:
50
0
I sit and look at your white-gold engagement ring My heart breaks as I sit and stare at this thing She only wore it for two months and four days This ring and I live just like two castaways
I saw a doc to resolve all of my outbursts He made me count from 100 by 7's in reverse He knew I needed help to learn to grieve So he said he would teach me how to breathe
I'm just trying to learn to breathe again Trying to live another day I'm just trying to learn to breathe again As I try to find my way I'm just trying to learn to live again Trying to end this slow decay I'm just trying to learn to breathe again To get this pain to fade away
No words Can explain this pain Nothing will ever feel the same
I'm just trying to learn to breathe again Trying to live another day I'm just trying to learn to breathe again As I try to find my way And I'm just trying to learn to live again Trying to end this slow decay I'm just trying to learn to breathe again To get this pain to fade away
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: 64Guitars on May 09, 2011, 11:02:26 AM
Nice job T.C. I like this.
One trivial little flaw I noticed is that you seem to be singing "count from one hundreds by sevens" in the second verse. It should be quite easy to silence the 's' in Audacity if you recorded your vocals to a separate track.
By the way, is Mark Berry related to our Dave "Blues" Berry? :)
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: Kenneth on May 09, 2011, 11:38:04 AM
I like this song, and your work on it. You are quite a song writer, glad I have heard your songs. I like your singing, always have, you have a terrific voice, it's very easy on the ears.
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: Oldrottenhead on May 09, 2011, 12:14:25 PM
great song piggy
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: Farrell Jackson on May 09, 2011, 12:37:32 PM
Very sad, thoughtful, and meaningful lyric. The song, melody, and vocal delivery really pull me into the situation you are describing with the lyric......well done all!
Farrell
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: lg on May 09, 2011, 02:54:00 PM
Hey, Pig, it is always MY privilege to pick-thru your songs. You are a great singer/sonwriter IMHO, and I am glad to give this'n a listen... Aren't we all, anyway, I mean tryin' to learn to live..... I can hear this with a bit of Flute accompaniment..... This is another good song Piggie! I love it.
LG
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: Gritter on May 09, 2011, 03:04:49 PM
Good song with a very clean and simple sound. The dynamics in your voice and playing gives this a lot of weight. I like LG's idea of a flute accompaniment. I think "hundreds by sevens" sounds just fine.
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: Redler on May 10, 2011, 12:08:45 AM
Great song, TC! Fantastic lyrics, too. Your voice and acoustic guitar is perfect combination!
Kari
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: Pine on June 22, 2011, 06:05:54 AM
Good songwriting! As a guy who appreciates lyrical content, i really enjoyed this. For some reason the lyric sheet was cut off but your mix was so clean it wasn't an issue..as it usually is for me as i am hearing impaired. The clean solo folk guitar is solid and i think the bare bones production is perfect for the song...just you and the ring....and your thoughts. Nice collab here...as for improvements..maybe just harmonies on the title line? Nice work.
Pine
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: launched on June 22, 2011, 07:04:54 AM
Excellent bump - I missed this one. I thought it was a great tune! The guitar picking sequence is catchy and I love the chorus.
Top notch collaboration, bro!
Mark
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: The Gobi Desert Canoe Club on June 23, 2011, 06:42:41 AM
Fine song and collab sharing a very emotive time of life............Willie
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: ODH on June 23, 2011, 09:28:52 AM
Missed this too, glad for the chance to hear it today. Nice song, well executed.
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: cuthbert on June 23, 2011, 09:36:59 AM
Very poignant song, T.C. - doesn't sound like it needs anything else to me.
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: SwanSong on June 23, 2011, 09:43:11 AM
HI T.C ... Very nice story telling kind of song. very visual lyrics. great vox and guitar work ...nice gentle picking. this is what good song s r made of great lyrics. and great vox s . well done my friend NEIL..................!
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: guitarron on June 24, 2011, 05:01:54 AM
this a powerful tune-i love it when a song hits a nerve and make you say-fuck, i've been there before
Title: Re: Learning To Breathe Again
Post by: Bluesberry on June 24, 2011, 09:38:22 AM
I am sure I posted a comment on this, I kinow I did. oh well, this is a really good vocal from you. I am just listening and as soon as the chorus comes in, in my head I hear electric guitar chords behind/on top of the acoustic chords, that would sound interesting. Great song.