Anyother attempt at an poem/lyric

[Gritter]

I'm gettin it on with my scone
Can't part with my tart
Got my eye on the pie
When I finish gonna fart? 

[Oldrottenhead]

but can you make fritters?
gritter

[Maverick31]

What the hell?

[Satchwood]

Hey Mav, it looks like a couple of guys hi-jacked your thread for some comic relief...don't be offended, this sort of thing happens from time to time 

[Maverick31]

I can see that...

[vierge99]

... wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy?

[Glenn Mitchell]

Maverick, on a serious note, you have lots to say and tho the depressing stuff can only take you so far before it starts to sound over indulgent or rambling, it's still material to work with that has passion and emotion.
I'd say it's time to get down to Editing if you are trying to get a song out of it.
It's going to have to be sung, so some semblance of order and rhyme might be a good place to start?
See how FEW words you can use to convey meaning.
Even if it seems enigmatic, it can be a very good thing if people have to think a bit about your meaning. Metaphor is powerful, particularly original rather than overused.
See if you can get them to have some rhythm of their own.

[Satchwood]

Great words of advice M_Glenn_M!! i can use that for taking some of my emotional mind dumps and assembling them into likeable songs....

[vincent]

I don`t have a bit of advise for you Maverick31, I could say I`ve been there, and some of the best writing we do is in that emotional state. this leans towards lyric more than poetry. peace to you.