What's the worst lyrics you've ever heard?

[Oldrottenhead]

i heard rick wakeman on the radio say , that jon got cornered by two fans saying they really dug the song "going for the one" and how it was all about saving the planet. rick says that jon likes a flutter on the gee gees and came up with the lyric shouting at his tv set for his horse to win its race. lmao
when rick was asked "so what is a siberian khatru?" he nearly pissed himself laughing the said something like how the hell should i know nobody knows

[Ted]

...jon likes a flutter on the gee gees and came up with the lyric shouting at his tv set for his horse to win its race.

For my fellow Americans:

London Slang
an occasional bet on a horse race.

This is not the first time that ORH has enriched my vocabulary.  Probably won't be the last.

[Ferryman]

How about this:

"If the girl screams when you try to fondle her,
There's nothing worse than a sinking gondola"

I have to admit I wrote those lyrics............

Cheers,

Nigel

[jackofall]

Well Mr Ferryman, I have to admit that I quite like that. I have an image of an amorous bloke having a grope, met with so much resistance that the boat they're in is swaying from side to side, water getting in, all slooshing around, until finally, the whole things just goes down, extinguishing all passion - a metaphor for life itself!

[OsCKilO]

How about this:

"If the girl screams when you try to fondle her,
There's nothing worse than a sinking gondola"

I have to admit I wrote those lyrics............

Cheers,

Nigel

You have to share the Tune Nigel!!!!!!!

[Ferryman]

Well Mr Ferryman, I have to admit that I quite like that. I have an image of an amorous bloke having a grope, met with so much resistance that the boat they're in is swaying from side to side, water getting in, all slooshing around, until finally, the whole things just goes down, extinguishing all passion - a metaphor for life itself!

LOL! Of course, that's what I was thinking when I wrote it. I shall now claim that every time I mention it.

You have to share the Tune Nigel!!!!!!!

I have an mp3 of an early recording somewhere which I will dig out and post. It actually made it on to a reasonably well-received compliation album of Brighton-based bands, one of the few things I have ever done that actually got released comercially.

Cheers,

Nigel

[upsetminded]

KISS has been mentioned a few times (for good reason)...Here's another brain buster:

"You show us everything you got,
  Baby, Baby that's quite alot."

[gingertilly18]

eminem clearly has the worst lyrics

"Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
it'd be Jennifer Lopez, and Puffy you know this!
I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother
I still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it ain't mine, what's my name?"

just plain juvenile

although the most OTT lyric award must go to "Anal Cunt" no im not making this up

You shouldn't have been a woman
You shouldn't have had a cunt
You deserved it
'cause you're a dumb cunt

[Pre-chorus:]
D-U-M-B C-U-N-T

[Chorus:]
You deserved it, you deserved it, you deserved it, you're a dumb cunt

You should've worn a chastity belt
You should've volunteered to fuck him
You should've been ugly
I hate you because you're a woman

[Pre-chorus]

[Chorus]

from the song "I Became A Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked For It"

just not music.

[jackofall]

I once bought an album by 'The Exploited' - in the 80's. The lyrics were just so terrible, and they printed them on a sheet for all to appreciate. I remember there was a song about Margaret Thatcher....I'm almost embarrassed for them, but in the interest of culture, here is a little of that gem reproduced below...(look away now if you are a decent human being)


Maggie - you cunt
Maggie  - you cunt
Maggie, Maggie, Maggie
You fucking cunt

Not exactly Shakespeare, is it? To the point, I suppose!

[Oldrottenhead]

Maggie - you cunt
Maggie  - you cunt
Maggie, Maggie, Maggie
You fucking cunt

the exploited where/are a scottish band, being a scot myself i can relate to these simple but telling lyrics, on how high in esteem we scots held the grocers daughter.

bloody politics yeah cannea keep it oot o music

here is one from that era , i cant really say the lyrics are that bad cos its my mates song. lol but they are
"they're gonna take our water now
let's see the bastards try"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZGQA_eJgOM