Joke time

Started by StevieM, August 18, 2009, 02:22:33 PM

Davo

Quote from: wiley on August 30, 2009, 06:02:49 PMHey DAvo don't be slamming us girls!! LOL That's your job to check oil.   LOL But I admit I dont' wash.  Rain does wonders. !!!

Such a hippy, you are.
To be pleased with one's limits is a wretched state.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Ted

Q. Where do you hide your pot so the hippies can't find it?

A. Under the soap.
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Wiley

The van I don't wash.  LOL You guys are terrible.  :o

StevieM

There's nothing wrong with dirty :D
Cars, jokes, girls------ ;)



EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY
BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM . . . 'I've got problems.  Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it.  I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
 'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink.
 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of  those fears.'
 'How much do you charge?
 ''Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.
 'I'll sleep on it,' I said.

 Six months later the doctor met me on the street. 'Why didn't you ever
 come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
 'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful
 lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved
 all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!'
 'Is that so?!' with attitude he asked. And how, may I ask, did a bartender  cure you?
 ''He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there  now!'
 
I always say, if I can leave somebody happy and smiling at the end of the day-----I've completely f*cked up!!

Wiley


Geir

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Oh well ........

launched

Stephen King made a guest appearence on Letterman several years ago, and he was as funny and crazy as ever!!

From what I remember:

Letterman: So you can't have any skin exposed or the monsters under your bed will get you?

King: You must be completely covered. If even a hand or toe is exposed, whoosh!! You're gone!!

Letterman: Well, you're head's exposed - How come the monsters don't go after that?

King: You don't eat dessert first!



After that, King got bizarre and creepily weird, so I know it wasn't staged. A brillian man - too brilliant.
"Now where did I put my stream of thought. But hey, fc*K it!!!!!!! -Mokbul"
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Song List
About Me
Ok to Cover

Wiley

 ;D ;D ;D  Ok You guys are in for it now!!!!

23 useless parts on a mans body.

20 nails you can't hammer!
2 balls you can't throw!
& 1 cock that can't crow!


 ;D ;D ;D

Justin_Case


guitarron

Quote from: launched on September 01, 2009, 05:46:11 PMStephen King made a guest appearence on Letterman several years ago, and he was as funny and crazy as ever!!

From what I remember:

Letterman: So you can't have any skin exposed or the monsters under your bed will get you?

King: You must be completely covered. If even a hand or toe is exposed, whoosh!! You're gone!!

Letterman: Well, you're head's exposed - How come the monsters don't go after that?

King: You don't eat dessert first!



After that, King got bizarre and creepily weird, so I know it wasn't staged. A brillian man - too brilliant.
Kind of like a modern Edgar Allan Poe


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