Do people in your life care that you write songs? (via Reddit)

[Pete C]

I have started not giving a shit about her not giving a shit.

I have the same total lack of interest from my wife and friends. She's always criticised my singing ever since I first started home recording and I've always had to argue back that there's no point in recording just backing tracks with no vocals. She's rarely listened to anything I post here and it's got to the point that I don't even tell her what I'm recording. I was recently having a drink with some friends and was talking to one of them who plays bass (just at home) and he was saying he can't play reggae bass lines. The day after, I posted a copy of a reggae cover I did (Armagideon) on the Whatsapp group I have with my friends. It's probably the only song that my wife liked and listened to a couple of times. A week later we were out with one of my friends and his wife who I've known since I was a teenager and I know he can't play any musical instruments and can't sing. He said "Was that you singing? You can't sing!" My wife later said he had no right saying that. I said "you say the same thing", to which she responded "Well, I'm your wife, I can".

At times it's made me feel like packing it all in but at the end of the day I do it for my own pleasure and from the comments you guys put on my posts, some of you do appreciate what I post. I think the problem with non-musical friends is they don't realise the work that goes into recording a song, playing all the different parts, arranging the drums etc. One of my female friends even thought I was just recording myself singing over karaoke backing tracks !

Anyway, I've also stopped giving a shit. I'll carry on doing it as long as I enjoy it and just share it with the like-minded folk on Songcrafters.

[T.C. Elliott]

From the OP:

I can post a selfie and get 200 likes but if I post a couple new riffs I'm working on, I'll get like 10. Well recorded, melodic, it doesn't matter because people don't even scroll with the volume up half the time.

That's because the algorithms favor posts that keep the audience on their platform. If you link to youtube, spotify, soundcloud, bandcamp or anything else then you're gonna get almost no traction unless you pay. Do a live feed on FB or post a video on that site rather than linking to another site and the algorithm suddenly likes you. I had 160 views on fb video of me singing a song in this facility (with noise etc, completely off the cuff) and almost nothing on a well recorded song from the studio.

I have the same total lack of interest from my wife and friends.

Same here, especially from family. The wife shows little interest most of the time. But I did discover that she covertly listens to almost anything she can find. She doesn't like most of my music but occasionally she gets one she loves. Luckily, she almost always keeps it to herself these days. There's a truth in the statement, you have to find your audience.

If you're treating music like a commodity, like you have to market it then almost everything in the OP makes sense. If you treat it like art that only certain people will get and if you treat 'marketing' like it's finding your audience, your people, then it changes everything. It also helps if you think about it like you're doing things for other people, solving a problem for them. No-one likes to hear "listen to my music" but almost everyone likes to hear "I wrote a song and I think you might be one of the few people who will really get it."

[StephenM]

And there is always the possibility it is painful to her    ... well yeah why not?

you just hit a nail on the head for me.  my wife loves music and is a pro but she loves music very much more different and limited than I do... I was playing the other night, a riff with what she calls dissonant chords.  To me they sound lovely and comforting and i love playing that... she explained that it caused her to feel anxious, and awful, sort of like finger nails on a chalkboard.  So I played a (what I think is boring and the same as everbody's) 3 chord riff with G C and D majors and she loved it... boom...
you do have to know your audience as my friend Tonya says... but really I ain't really interested in doing the same old covers any more... nope... however that is where the folks playing live are mostly thriving.  The bands that are doing all Pink Floyd, Fleetwood Mac etc are selling out like hotcakes and making some decent money... can't really fault them for it... if I had a chance to be a drummer or something in a band like that I probably would only because that would be a challenge for me and interesting... but to be a bass player or guitarist in that... not likely... been there... done that.

also I need to add that i really, really, really enjoy the process of recording, mixing, and producing.  the last two even more so.

[Zoltan]

she explained that it caused her to feel anxious, and awful, sort of like finger nails on a chalkboard.

I can totally relate to that. It's down to a taste. It's a whole topic i put my wife through yesterday. You all dodged that bullet of having to hear that

I had some chords that made me physically ill. I don't even remember them anymore so either my taste has evolved, or i have totally blocked them out

It's great to hear that you're enjoying that whole process. I think that's one of the best changes in music making at this day and age. The availability of cheap, pro quality tools for it. I'd hate having to buy studio compressors, eqs etc. even though i'm a fan of analog gear.

[StephenM]

there is another thing about popular music and radio.... if folks hear things about 5 times, even if it is not great (see some of the garbage from the pop 70's, (the lion sleeps tonight, Billy don't be a hero, I got a brand new pair of roller skates etc... a long list) they will start to like it at least a little... even sing to it and get it stuck in their heads...

we don't get to hypnotize people with ours like that!  lol... I tell you what.  I have been on this site for 3.5 years now and am very regular, and I tend to listen to every single song that is posted, kind of like a radio station for example.  When I first listened to some folks on here I wasn't that into it... but now I just love their voices and styles etc.... and music has always been that way for me.  I tend to listen to the same album for example a hundred times etc... and fall in love more and more with the nuances, the subtleties etc...
That is why I often like songs from albums that never got played on radio and no one, or very few others ever heard it... here is an example... a small one.  Kansas.  I heard Carry on wayward son in 76 or 77 I can't remember.. of course I was blown away... and over time I became a Kansas fan... but it was marginally... I never realized they had 3 albums out before that song came out.  Even years and years later, like only about 10 years ago did I get those 3 recordings and was blown away at how good they are... you can ask most people and they will give you 2 or 3 Kansas songs... however I have heard every album they have done and they have a hundred great songs... but almost no one knows this because they don't put themselves into the music like I do... but I am not saying this makes me better or anything... but it does make a person like me have potential to be a good producer/engineer because mixing etc often requires listening to tracks and sounds over and over and over again... most musicians have no stomach for this. 
I don't know if this helps anyone but each of our perspectives can help us to understand others better.... so that makes the comments valuable.  It is hard to grow, because it takes honesty and that is not easy...

I am thankful for the active members on this forum... it is very valuable to me... if for no other reason than self respect.

[Zoltan]

there is another thing about popular music and radio.... if folks hear things about 5 times, even if it is not great (see some of the garbage from the pop 70's, (the lion sleeps tonight, Billy don't be a hero, I got a brand new pair of roller skates etc... a long list) they will start to like it at least a little... even sing to it and get it stuck in their heads...

This is so very true. It's a real thing and it affects all of us i'm certain. At least i'm not immune to it.

Repetition can add "value" to the music by making it more familiar and as such easier to grasp. And of course using clever arrangements and repetition in songwriting is part of that too. But that's the "next stage" of it.

[Zoltan]

over time I became a Kansas fan

That time is still way ahead of me. I'm sure i've enjoyed one, or two Kansas cover songs, but i've never really listened to them.

For some reason the band sounds boring and my mind immediately drifts somewhere else. So much so that i'm not sure if i'd even recognize it was Kansas playing if i heard it on the radio!

So that's it for my refined musical tastes

[StephenM]

over time I became a Kansas fan

That time is still way ahead of me. I'm sure i've enjoyed one, or two Kansas cover songs, but i've never really listened to them.

For some reason the band sounds boring and my mind immediately drifts somewhere else. So much so that i'm not sure if i'd even recognize it was Kansas playing if i heard it on the radio!

So that's it for my refined musical tastes

they were really just an example of how I delve into groups I like or music I like.

[Zoltan]

they were really just an example of how I delve into groups I like or music I like.

I was just trying to be annoying and you weren't having any of that! No... I mean there's loads of great bands that i (or someone else) might get at some point, but really don't connect at the current time. I would probably learn a lot from bands like Kansas. The mixing, songwriting, performing etc.

My listening habits are weird. That's why they're mine

[Johnbee]

In answering your question:  Hell no!  I stopped telling people long ago.

  John B