Anyone got any jokes?

[Blooby]

What did one snowman say to other snowman?

"Do you smell carrots?"

[alfstone]

Rather old one, but anyway...


    An English lady, while visiting Switzerland, was looking for a room, and she asked the schoolmaster if he could recommend any to her. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled, the lady returned to her home to make the final preparations to move.

    When she arrived home, the thought suddenly occurred to her that she had not seen a "W.C." [water closet, a euphemism for toilet] around the place. So she immediately wrote a note to the schoolmaster asking him if there were a "W.C." around. The [Swiss] schoolmaster was a very poor student of English, so he asked the [Swiss] parish priest if he could help in the matter. Together they tried to discover the meaning of the letters "W.C.," and the only solution they could find for the letters was "Wayside Chapel." The schoolmaster then wrote to the English lady the following note:

    Dear Madam:
    I take great pleasure in informing you that the W.C. is situated nine miles from the house you occupy, in the center of a beautiful grove of pine trees surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and it is open on Sunday and Thursday only. As there are a great number of people and they are expected during the summer months, I would suggest that you come early: although there is plenty of standing room as a rule. You will no doubt be glad to hear that a good number of people bring their lunch and make a day of it; while others who can afford to go by car arrive just in time. I would especially recommend that your ladyship go on Thursday when there is a musical accompaniment. It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the W.C. and it was there that she met her husband. I can remember the rush there was for seats. There were ten people to a seat ordinarily occupied by one. It was wonderful to see the expression on their faces. The newest attraction is a bell donated by a wealthy resident of the district. It rings every time a person enters. A bazaar is to be held to provide plush seats for all the people, since they feel it is a long felt need. My wife is rather delicate, so she can't attend regularly. I shall be delighted to reserve the best seat for you if you wish, where you will be seen by all. For the children, there is a special time and place so that they will not disturb the elders. Hoping to have been of service to you, I remain,
    Sincerely,
    The Schoolmaster

[fenderbender]

 

An Englishman walks into a bar...
He's normally accompanied by an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman but
they're all still at the Rugby World Cup

[Groundy]

An Englishman walks into a bar...
He's normally accompanied by an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman but
they're all still at the Rugby World Cup

 

[chapperz66]

An Englishman walks into a bar...
He's normally accompanied by an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman but
they're all still at the Rugby World Cup

The bar is getting a little bit busier now.  I think I'd get a round in before the other boys turn up.

 

[chapperz66]

Blimey - can hardly get to the bar now!


Scotland were a bit unlucky.  Didn't expect the Argies to beat Ireland.

All a bit academic.  Not sure the All Blacks will be too worried.

[heg577]

A recent call to the HEG577 Problem Hot Line.
 - contains certain "F-words" discovered in a dusty copy of an English Dictionary..

[fenderbender]

An Englishman walks into a bar...
He's normally accompanied by an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman but
they're all still at the Rugby World Cup

 

Och the have really fallen off the wagon now-
Ireland's shock hammering
Scotland seemed to have had it in the bag-the ref had to make a quick exit--think they were robbed

Pub was nearly empty last night

[ODH]

An Englishman walks into a bar...
He's normally accompanied by an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman but
they're all still at the Rugby World Cup

 

Och the have really fallen off the wagon now-
Ireland's shock hammering
Scotland seemed to have had it in the bag-the ref had to make a quick exit--think they were robbed

Pub was nearly empty last night

Brilliant weekend of rugby, bad results.  Wales - my team - would've won (probably) but for a poor call at the line out with five minutes to go.  Scotland should have won - no way that was a penalty.  Ireland were outclassed to be fair on this occasion.

[fenderbender]

 
Yep Agree with you Nick
Great weekend--
Even for those who dont follow rugby

Tommy