Committed

Started by allysonmarie, November 19, 2014, 07:04:15 PM

allysonmarie

Allyson Marie - The Seventh - 15 Committed
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Not the happiest of songs here, but songwriting is the best I can do when I'm in a really bad way about things. My choir has two concert performances on Saturday. Once the pressure is over with maybe these days will get a bit easier for me.


Lost somewhere far within, I fear.
Holding back the moment.
Holding my breath still.
Knowing death may soon become my will.

Tell me why I am now without your words.
Why every direction can only welcome more hurt.
Here I cannot stay.
I am not held enough by the light to
Find my way.

Alone you will leave me.
No tears be shed, no grieving.
I will fall into the moment.
Set free this breath, I will.
Knowing this shame filled soul is
Mine to kill.

ODH

I was taken with the structure; the falling patterns at the start of the song sound really bleak, but then the rising patterns seem to hint at a little hope?

I don't know anyone who opens their heart in their songwriting like you.  Your songs always demand attention and then they reward it.

Good luck with your performances Saturday.
Overdrive - Distortion - Hyperactivity
Yesterdays shatter, tomorrows don't matter

Hook

Nick really nailed it with everything he said.
Quote from: Nick_ODH on November 20, 2014, 12:54:39 AMI don't know anyone who opens their heart in their songwriting like you.  Your songs always demand attention and then they reward it.


Definitely!
It's great your performing with this Choir, enjoy it!
Rock On!

recorder
Boss BR-80
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Boss BR-800
Because the Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The hook brings you back
On that you can rely

Pine

I agree with the above comments. This is a very dark tune, sung with alot of passion.

"I will fall into the moment.
Set free this breath, I will.
Knowing this shame filled soul is
Mine to kill."

That's great writing Ally. Not a fun tune, but real. Your vocals vastly overpower the solo piano music imho, making it a rather strange experience. I think it's great that you  are doing "what you can with what you have, where you are" but if these vocals were on top of a powerhouse rock band that could rise and fall dynamically with your vocal delivery, this would be a different ballgame. I think it would greatly enhance the drama of it all. Good luck with the performances tomorrow!

pine
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Boss BR-1200
           

Hilary

I know it's easy to say and not so easy to do but try not to put too much pressure on yourself with the choir. Thank you for sharing your songs, you have a very special talent.

Best of luck for tomorrow xx
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Boss BR-80

comme ci, comme ça

allysonmarie


I greatly appreciate the support. The concert shows yesterday went incredibly well. All the work was totally worth it.

Hilary

Quote from: allysonmarie on November 23, 2014, 07:57:18 AMI greatly appreciate the support. The concert shows yesterday went incredibly well. All the work was totally worth it.

I'm very pleased to hear that :D
recorder
Boss BR-80

comme ci, comme ça