Spring Breeze... need some help.

[dragonshade]

Guys (and gals).. really need some help. Writing this song (the same one I had asked about which chords are these, in this same section), and I am having some serious difficulty. Little background.. Started messing with these chords, then started hearing the lyrics. Seems I write about deep subjects to me, and this took the direction of the love, and extreme feelings of loss over those that raised me... which often haunts my dreams and fills my thoughts. One in particular.. Madeline, my grandmother. As some of the first verses came to me I remembered her.. every spring we would replace the glass in the windows and doors with screens. She would exclaim.. "feel that glorious breeze" every day that there was one. Hence the Spring breeze in the last line, which I would also like to title the song, and work into the chorus of course.

Starts out with the chords I had listed...

A7sus4
Cadd9
A7sus4
Am

These are played in an arpeggiated picking style, about 94bpm

Starts with a playthrough once, then verse starts...

This is for all
All those loved ones
Who have passed on..
And are gone

We love you
We miss you
You touched us
And.. made our lives

So special..
All our memories
Are tied to you..
Like a Spring Breeze

Now.. to me this is perfect to go into the chorus right here.. and that is what I have been pulling hair out over. Wondering if I should stay with a picking, or go to full chord strums. I find I can go right from the Am (right where the Breeze rings).. into a one strum E, A9, then Am.. then multiple strum Am, C9, G.. back to the one strum E,A9,Am.. but cannot figure out how to get back into my verse part from there (to the slightly slower arpeggiated part). Maybe it would be better to stick to an arpeggiated picking? If anyone can give maybe some song titles that come to mind that alternate a picking style verse, and a chord strummed chorus would be great. I can't even think of any offhand to listen to to see what others have done to bridge the two. Also (I know I am decribing it poorly) but any other ideas would be awesome.

Lyrically... I am kinda thinking the chorus will be something like this, and as the strumming thing I mentioned above is the best I currently have for it I'll put the chords over where I am using them currently..

E     A9    Am
On  the   Spring Breeze..

Am      Cadd9
I can   hear your voice

G
Speaking softly..

E
To me


E     A9    Am
On   the   Spring Breeze...

Am      Cadd9
I can   feel you

G
Right beside me

E
On the spring breeze (or now and always, unsure this last line).


Thanks for anything you can give everyone. The first part is so beautiful, but now I am fully stuck.

[T.C. Elliott]

Are you primarily concerned with recording or playing the song live?

If you are wanting to figure out a live arrangement then there are a few tricks you can try and see if any work. The first is just to go into the strum pattern. Try a fairly busy strum pattern (probably try a few different strum patterns to see what transitions smoothly etc) but try at the same BPM. You might be surprised to see how just the pattern can make something seem faster when it's the same tempo but just busier (meaning more happening per measure.)

The second thing I would try would be to do a little bass run going from arpeggio to strum. Not hearing the song it would be hard to tell if this will work, but sometimes just doing a simple walking bass line into the next chord will differentiate the sections well enough.

Or maybe try a single slow strum on the last chord of the arpeggio section and then start strumming the chorus. I don't know if that makes sense and it might not work, but to my mind it would be worth a try.

If you are primarily concerned with a recorded version then you could try recording the strummed section including a build up from the verse... ie start with the verse and go throughout the song, and then just fade up the strummed part (let it build up) until it's the main part of the chorus. If you do this it might be cool to do the arpeggio's through the whole song and just build up the strumming part on the chorus. That way it sounds like a second part instead of a replacement part.

You could also do a staccato part during the verse and mix it real low and then do full strums at the chorus. I'm imagining doing bass chords (or power chords) in almost all down strokes but not as hard or loud as you'd use in punk or what not. Then mix fairly low with the arpeggios really ringing out. But then it gives some context when going from one section to another.

And finally my only advice is to keep trying strumming patterns. I could hear a cross between arpeggio and strum. Where you pick the bottom two strings then strum each chord. It'd be string, string, strum down/strum up strum down/strum up for each measure. At least that's what I hear in my head.  Okay my real final advice is to keep playing with things until something seems to work for you. Good luck.

[AndyR]

Yep, everything TC says.

But then, here's an extra way of thinking too...

"chorus" (if we're talking about a memorable chorus for the listener rather than just the name of a song section) to me means lyrics and vocal melody. The stuff behind it is just "support", very important support, but it's still just the backing to the chorus. The melody and delivery of the vocal is what makes the chorus for most listeners.

So, if we're talking about that sort of chorus, do you have the vocal melody fixed yet? If not, try looking at it that way for a while as well. If you hit the "right" chorus, the guitar part can almost write itself.

Having said that, though... when writing, I use the guitar to provide some sort of backing that inspires the vocal. So, often the guitar part does come before the chorus melody.

BUT... sticking to this way means I often end up with nice verses and another different "nice verse" as a chorus. Sometimes that's cool, other times I'm thinking "this really NEEDS a proper chorus... what the hell is it??!".

When I'm stuck over how to get a chorus like that going (and it sounds like you might be going through the same thing), I try this:

I play and sing the intro and verse like I was performing it. Then when I get to the chorus, SING but don't play guitar. Imagine the arrangement behind it, just assume it will be right to fit whatever you sing.... More importantly, imagine the audience there in front of you, and try to sing them something that they want to hear and want to sing/hum along to. If you get those lines, you can figure out the backing easily afterwards. I find that figuring out the backing first can restrict the melody options I'm capable of finding (although, with this different approach, the backing I was originally toying with often works in the end anyway ).


BTW - loved the story about you playing the intro in the music shop and it stopping the punters in their tracks - yep, that's the way to do it... you gotta keep working this one

[Hilary]

Hi Ray - can't help on what to do with the guitar I'm afraid (not my forte) but the idea for the song sounds beautiful. My advice would be try not to overthink it and when it's finished live with a for a while and amend as you see fit - they are all works in progress. Great ideas from TC and Andy though.

(the last time I sang in a music shop - a couple of months back - someone came up to me and said I was perfect just like a Spice Girl (I'm giggling now) - I think they meant Scary Spice)

[dragonshade]

BUT... sticking to this way means I often end up with nice verses and another different "nice verse" as a chorus. Sometimes that's cool, other times I'm thinking "this really NEEDS a proper chorus... what the hell is it??!".

Andy.. EXACTLY, yes that is exactly where I am. Thank you for the ideas, may be just what I need, I'll try it.

TC.... Thank you also, great ideas.. trying them.

Haylie (Scary) lol.. Good mindset and yes. I wonder how many songs were "written" and then rewritten much later.