***I've added an updated version on the second page of comments***
Hi folks,
This is my very first submission, so please be kind :)
I've been working on this original.
It's not finished. It's not complete. It needs the vocals redoing (I was full of a cold when I tracked them).
I just thought I'd upload it and see what sort of reaction it got.
Cheers, Graham.
Hi there,
This sounds like a very good pop song in the making. There are lots of catchy ideas and melodic motifs.
The drum machine is distorting a bit so i guess things are pushing on red.
You've already got most of the song together. Now it's just a case of finessing things up.
love that keyboard... catchy as heck.
would agree with Zoltan on the drums or something driving into clipping a touch.
the song is cool as hell... the star is the lyric and the vocal delivery... that vocal delivery is intense. Straight from the soul. That is a major winner for me.
stick around... this site has folks that will help you figure out your mixes... bravo
Needs more development but a great place to start. I really like the lyrics. Clever!
Welcome!
:) John B
Hey Graham, welcome!
Your vocals sound great to my ears. One small suggestion I'd make is to try making your extra vocal parts (the call and response-style) sound a bit different from the lead vocal - using a different pan setting, lowering the level, or adding reverb or some other effect - just to set it apart better from the lead vocal.
Otherwise, I'd agree with the others comments up to now - some small tweaks to get the instrumental parts in a better balance. But keep your lead vocal as the focal point - you've got a great voice.
Welcome to the site. :)
I like the song. It's got good structure to it.
Nice piano melody. For a demo it's good.
Nice lyrics and vocals too.
Welcome to the friendliest site on the internet, you talented sonofa...
That's a sweet demo. As a red-headed bassist, I approve. As a fan of Elvis Costello, the timbre and the inflection on that first line grabbed my attention. Can't wait to hear this one as it develops.
Don't forget to introduce yourself here:
https://songcrafters.org/forum/index.php?board=46.0
The song sounds pretty good. As you've said it needs a bit of tidying up and maybe some germ free vocals ;D
Looking forward to the final version!
Welcome to Songcrafters, Graham! As others have said, you've got a really good start here. I can hear the potential. Tidy up the vocals with a healthy voice and conquer the mild clipping. Those are the first things I would recommend tackling.
Welcome to the site Graham !
It's got the making of a good song, a catchy piano hook, nice bass work and your vocals remind me of Elvis Costello too. Hope you post another version when it's finished!
Pete
Hi folks. Thanks for all the feedback. Very encouraging and you've made me want to crack on and finish it off. I'll post a version when I've got it where I want it. G.
Welcome, Graham and a cool song to introduce yourself. Sure enough, the drums are clipping a little, mostly the kick drum but apart from that looking forward to the finished product.
Hi Graham
A great song there mate. Post more!
Paul
Ok, folks. It's taken a while but I've got the rest of the track down; written a bridge; sorted the clipping and retracked my vocal. The 2nd vocal part is going to be replaced by our bands female singer when we get a chance to record it.
Let me know what you think and thanks for all your feedback!
Right In Front of Me (18) (1).mp3
GingerB. I would say that this definitely has potential, dependent on where you want to take the track. I'd shorten the intro, unless you are going to mix-in some other element, because given that the same refrain/motif appears quite a lot in the body of the song it can become overly repetitive and drag momentum. I can understand where you will be adding a 'refrain vocal', I've tried to do it myself, and that's where I think the potential of the track lies. There are some powerful elements here which I think you can exploit. I have to say that I've only listened in mono but it's easy to acknowledge that there is good work presented here. Good luck.
Coming along nicely Graham ! Much cleaner recording now and I love the bass line and the tone! Looking forward to hearing the next step.
Pete
Thanks, Pete.
That's a P bass wearing flatwound ADAGIO 45-100 strings. Running it through a Zoom B3 pedal with an amp sim, some EQ and compression. Sounds mint 😍