Update: spurred on by Zoltan and Hilary, I have a further developed Demo, below:
https://songcrafters.org/forum/index.php?topic=33251.msg395286#msg395286
Had a little idea for a lyric and chords, so recorded some quick takes before I forgot it:
D, Am, D, Am
She's got no inhibition
She knows just what she wants
B, Am, D
She wants a man to hold her hand
And take her to the promised land
D, Am, D, Am
She's got no inhibition
She knows just what she wants
Hi di ho!
I tried to do something today, but i might have lost the essence of the song idea :D The last two days have been a bit rough and this turned into a bit sad sounding, or at least tired sounding demo. Also i had trouble channeling that Des0free energy so i had to ditch the B chord. It did gel with my brain.
Here's a totally winged up mess of a sketch.
D Am
She's got no inhibition
D Am
She knows not what she does
C G
She wants a man to hold her hand
D Am
And take her to the prom
She's got no expectations
She always acts surprised
When given what she's worth
and she's worth all the world
CH:
F Am D G
The love that she's giving makes the life worth living
The breadcrumps that she sows shows the world that we ain't grieving
Etc.
The vocal melody is still a bit vague.
Update: spurred on by Zoltan and Hilary, I have a further developed Demo, below:
https://songcrafters.org/forum/index.php?topic=33251.msg395286#msg395286
Thanks for the suggestions, Zoltan!!! It is a different direction than I was thinking, as I was thinking the first part was to be the chorus. But yours is also good and once you send me the files, I would like to try to develop that version also.
Meanwhile, I came up with a new version, developing a verse idea partly inspired by one of your lyrics "The love that she is giving makes life worth living", starting with the chord F you suggested. When I tried singing that, I came up with a different melody where it would be F->C. Then, when I tried to put that in front of the chorus, I felt it should be A->D instead. Another lyric led me to insert an E in the verse. In the chorus, I decided it should be power chords D5-A5, and I tentatively kept a B5 too (is that an off-key modulation? does it sound ok with my vocal, or too strange?).
My current draft is typed below, and the demo recording only has Verse 1 - Chorus - Verse 1 and rough playing, just to see how it sounds going from verse to chorus back to verse. I think it is ok, but I wonder if there could be some tweaks that would make it better? (besides playing it better...)
Hi - here's my 2 penny worth based on desOfree's chorus.
I've just sung it :)
Happy New Year everyone!
She's got no inhibitions and she knows just what she wants
She's gonna get her man and hold his hand and take him to that promised land
And when you get there you're never gonna leave
when you get there you're never gonna leave
when you get there you're never gonna wanna leave
Coz she's got no inhibitions and she knows just what she wants
She's gonna get her man and hold his hand and take him to that promised land
Coz if you never ask you're never gonna get
If you never ask you're never gonna get
If you never ask you're never gonna get
And she don't give one single flying ohhhhh
No she don't give one single flying oohhhh
Coz she's got no inhibitions and she knows just what she wants
She's gonna get her man and hold his hand and take him to that promised land
And when you get there you're never gonna leave
when you get there you're never gonna leave
when you get there you're never gonna leave
Coz you'll finally see
Yes you'll finally see
Coz she's got no inhibitions and she knows just what she wants
She's gonna get her man and take his hand and lead him to the promised land
She's gonna get her man and take his hand and lead him to the promised land
Thanks Hilary! I might try to see if I can figure out guitar chords to go with your vocal!
You and Zoltan have also given me some good ideas to revise my draft. You both pointed out that the lyrics needed a consistent theme.
Zoltan also said I should think about style song I'm aiming for. After diddling with guitar and drum sounds I'm now thinking "John Cougar Mellencamp". Another issue is that Zoltan is not sure about my A-B-D chord section in my chorus, which I stuck in to try to break up the D-A repetition. I kept that for now, but I'm pondering a revision.
Any further ideas are appreciated!
I like how this is coming together!
Now the B doesn't bother me that much (Now my focus shifted on how it resolves later :D).
I thought it could be religious that's why I put the line about finally seeing in.
Quote from: Hilary on December 31, 2022, 12:31:33 PMI thought it could be religious that's why I put the line about finally seeing in.
I was thinking that the bridge might have something about "wanting to be her preacherman" and then giving her "religion" all night long.
I ALMOST kept stum :D
good golly miss molly... I love the way this sounds...it is fantastic...I think i need to just sit back and watch this Professor Of Rock show me how songwriting is supposed to go...
Do I have any ideas? Yes I do. I got the idea that this don't need much else... a quick lead guitar thing at some point. Some cool backing vocals? Maybe... probably... either way it works..
but really I just need to sit down and listen to this again...
Sounds good DesOfree and like the changes. It's a great concept for a rocker song - congrats!
I keep coming back to the yummy a cappella Haylie Fox Vox! A song could be written around those alone. Professor(ess) of Rock!
I haven't had much time to work on this further, but here's the current version where I switched some of the chords in the chorus used some A7 (and also D7 and A7) chords on Zoltan's suggestion. Also I re-recorded everything and worked out a little intro riff. I tried some other things that didn't work out so they got trashed...
Intro
A D A E
A D A E
Verse 1
A D
...She was born in New York city
A D
All the guys thought she was pretty
A E
She never had a problem
D A
Getting what she wants
D A
Getting what she wants
Chorus
D A
Cuz she's got no inhibition
D A
She knows just what she wants
B B7
She gets a man and holds his hand
D7 A7
And takes him to the promised land
D A
She's got no inhibition
D A
She's got no inhibition
D A
She knows just what she wants
Sounds like a fine collaboration,, all sounding good to me. Willie
I think the best way to finish this one is... To throw the caution to the wind and lose all your inhibitions!
After all, if she's got no inhibitions... You shouldn't have them either.
So bring on the saxophone, bagpipes, or whatever is needed to make it a home run :)
It already sounds ear pleasing. It's poppy. The way you've mixed the guitars sounds "enhanced" which is probably a good thing.
A short solo section, some repetition and the ending of all endings (either a fade out, or invent something proper :)).