https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddLiUwEElpcHere's the final VIDEO: THIS FORUM was such a great help to me as I worked through the track & got it the best I could. Great sounding boards & you guys pointed out the guitar issue...Thanks to all
"Cry of the Young"(c)1997 Steve Altonian
On a cold hard city night
There's kids at play playing with guns & knives
Someones child dies
Battle lines are being drawn
City streets blast out the sound of war
Someone pays the cost
When you look around you can see the cry of the young
Lives are over before they ever get to start
If you listen really hard you hear the cry of the young
Things aren't how they used to be
In a land of locked doors & broken dreams
Someones mother cries
Heading down a one-way road
In search of something that they can't find at home
Someones baby's lost
When you look around you can see the cry of the young
Lives are over before they ever get to start
If you listen really hard you hear the cry of the young
Cool track.
I'm guessing the "not quite done" includes this, but in case it doesn't - check the tuning of the guitar.
It sounds like tuning probs around the 1:20 mark? I think it's the guitar disagreeing with the piano. It could be the mix, I sometimes get that, but I think it's the guitar - so I'm hoping it's just a guide guitar at the moment :D
Up until then everything sounds really slick and professional, then there's a sudden"ooo!"that really sticks out for me .... after that it seems to improve and it's all "yeah" again, but you remember that "ooo" moment earlier... I'm guessing you want to avoid that with what you're planning?
The fact that it improves is why I'm wondering whether it could be one of those "mix artefacts" that make stuff sound different than it actually is, but after a couple of listens, I don't think it is (which is good in my book - those mix things are a nightmare when they happen)
How slim is the guitar neck? I have some that have slim/springy necks that are VERY picky about how I hold the thing when I'm playing - sitting or standing, etc... it's been driving me CRAZY recently on one of my favourite guitars! Live it would be fine, but naked next to a piano on a recording... AGGAGAGAHHHH! ;D
But yeah, otherwise, very cool track, nice one :D
Quote from: AndyR on June 04, 2020, 02:30:58 AMCool track.
I'm guessing the "not quite done" includes this, but in case it doesn't - check the tuning of the guitar.
It sounds like tuning probs around the 1:20 mark? I think it's the guitar disagreeing with the piano. It could be the mix, I sometimes get that, but I think it's the guitar - so I'm hoping it's just a guide guitar at the moment :D
Up until then everything sounds really slick and professional, then there's a sudden"ooo!"that really sticks out for me .... after that it seems to improve and it's all "yeah" again, but you remember that "ooo" moment earlier... I'm guessing you want to avoid that with what you're planning?
The fact that it improves is why I'm wondering whether it could be one of those "mix artefacts" that make stuff sound different than it actually is, but after a couple of listens, I don't think it is (which is good in my book - those mix things are a nightmare when they happen)
How slim is the guitar neck? I have some that have slim/springy necks that are VERY picky about how I hold the thing when I'm playing - sitting or standing, etc... it's been driving me CRAZY recently on one of my favourite guitars! Live it would be fine, but naked next to a piano on a recording... AGGAGAGAHHHH!
I appreciate you identifying that and there are 2 spots like that that have been bugging me...The 1:20 mark & another spot, near there where the chord rings have bothered me, but I was like I like the ending with the electric & I got through it...Truth be told I hadn't pulled that sucker out for 2 years and those are old strings. All electric necks are big to me, LOL....And yes it went out of tune quickly....I was gonna try to punch in those 2 spots....
But, we will go to Guitar Center tomorrow, grab some fresh strings and redo it.
Hey thanks, that is what I wanted from a listen....
This is a really nice track, excellent keyboard part and really good vocal performance. As Andy pointed out a potential issue, I couldn't "not" hear it but apart from that this is a really well composed and very effective track.
Quote from: Ferryman on June 04, 2020, 12:46:26 PMThis is a really nice track, excellent keyboard part and really good vocal performance. As Andy pointed out a potential issue, I couldn't "not" hear it but apart from that this is a really well composed and very effective track.
Thanks, I did change some stuff around....Anything bug anyone? Glad you like the lead VOX. Funny that was supposed to be a guide vocal. But yeah, it's a keeper...THX
I don't use pitch correction on my home demos as I used a TASCAM DP 24 for all this stuff....NO DAW on this tune at all.
I like this - it's a lovely introspective piece, I like the way it picks up and gets a bit of movement as the track progresses.
If I'm being super critical - your vox is a bit pitchy in places, and the electric guitar doesn't occupy the same sonic space as the rest of the track. The ambience for other parts and that of the guitar are different which makes the guitar a bit obvious, maybe prominent is a better word.
The song is beautifully constructed, I think the arrangement works really well, I like the control you have over the drums.
I'm being extremely picky. If you made no changes at all I'd still think it's a smashing track.
Quote from: Flash Harry on June 05, 2020, 03:40:00 PMI like this - it's a lovely introspective piece, I like the way it picks up and gets a bit of movement as the track progresses.
If I'm being super critical - your vox is a bit pitchy in places, and the electric guitar doesn't occupy the same sonic space as the rest of the track. The ambience for other parts and that of the guitar are different which makes the guitar a bit obvious, maybe prominent is a better word.
I appreciate your take and you may have saved me a boo boo, when I punched in the guitar I didn't return the left pan...GOOD CATCH....So yeah the Guitar was panned right and the left one was down the middle...THX..
I'll have to look at the VOX this weekend.
I like the dark atmosphere of this. Style of your music and lyric fit well together!
Fantastic work! Very nice song and so enjoyable to listen. I like how it grows. In my ears this is just perfect and I could imagine I hear this from radio.
Great tune Steve. A lot of talent has gone into putting this together. You have a great tone to your voice, really nice. This song has a great arrangement and is nicely put together. this one of those tracks you can imagine playing on the radio driving along. Be good to hear more from you Steve!
Mike
Quote from: Redler on June 06, 2020, 12:00:59 AMI like the dark atmosphere of this. Style of your music and lyric fit well together!
Thanks Redler, I have a dark side too...
Quote from: Ella on June 06, 2020, 12:53:04 AMFantastic work! Very nice song and so enjoyable to listen. I like how it grows. In my ears this is just perfect and I could imagine I hear this from radio.
Ella,
I appreciate the listen & your take on the song as a whole. Much appreciated...The VIDEO is up now
I really like this, Its got lots of facets to it and the tune takes you on a journey and the lyrics really explain this journey. I listened to the song first then watched the video and i must say you really have put some work into this and its been well worth it. I couldn't criticise this at all if im honest apart from it wasn't long enough for me.
I mean it though outstanding work
Quote from: Mike_S on June 06, 2020, 03:01:22 PMGreat tune Steve. A lot of talent has gone into putting this together. You have a great tone to your voice, really nice. This song has a great arrangement and is nicely put together. this one of those tracks you can imagine playing on the radio driving along. Be good to hear more from you Steve!
Mike
Mike, I appreciate the listen & the words you have spoken. Thanks for checking it out
I really like your voice. And I like the songwriting and arrangement too. Felt too short, because it has quite a big, epic kind of build up. Felt like it needed a soaring solo in there somewhere. Fabulous work though.
wow.....great song....really good.... I don't have perfect pitch by any means....but I didn't hear anything that drove me nuts... you are a very good musician and song writer...and your vocals are very good....too..... I totally get that writing and recording is hard work.... and for me when I have put so much into a song and know that I should completely start over I just can't.... usually I have to move on to the next thing.... maybe one day i will go back and record some of the ones on my list that need work...
one I am trying to say is this....please do some more music.....you are really good....and it will be ok if it ain't perfect....
Wow, I just discovered this.
What a great performance. I especially love the vocals. There's a nerve there that grabs me.
I've only watched the video so I don't hav any pitch issues at all. This is just fab!
Great song. Love it.