The Intergalactic Laxative
Words & Music by Donovan Leitch
From his 1973 album Cosmic Wheels
I was impressed like everyone when man began to fly
Out of earthly regions, to planets in the sky
With total media coverage, we watched the heroes land
As ceremoniously they disturbed the cosmic sand
In awe with admiration, we listened to the talk
Such pride felt they, such joy to be upon the moon to walk
My romantic vision shattered when it was explained to me
Spacemen wear old diapers in which they shit and pee
Oh, the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there
Relieve you and believe me, without a worry or care
If shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars
Oh, the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to Mars
They don't partake, like you and I, of beefy burger mush
Their food is specially prepared to dissolve into slush
Absorbed by multi-fibers in the super diaper suit
Otherwise the slush would trickle down inside the boot
Oh, the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there
Relieve you and believe me, without a worry or care
If shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars
Oh, the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to Mars
You may well ask now what becomes of liquid they consume
A pipe is led from penis head to a unit in the room
The water is recirculated, filtered for re-use
In case some anti-gravity pee gets on the loose
Oh, the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there
Relieve you and believe me, without a worry or care
If shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars
Oh, the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to Mars
Wherever man has conquered on the quest for frontiers new (da da da da)
I'm glad he's always had to do the number one and two
It makes it all so ordinary, just like you and me
To know the greatest heroes, they had to shit and pee
The intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there
For cosmic constipation, there's none that can compare
If shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars
Oh, the intergalactic laxative
The intergalactic laxative
The intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to Mars