New poem... just off the top of my head

Started by Maverick31, February 28, 2010, 08:27:32 PM

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Maverick31

February 28, 2010, 08:27:32 PM Last Edit: February 28, 2010, 08:30:14 PM by Maverick31


ERROR: No MP3 file found.

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Life?

Psychedelic,
the pain...
melancholic,
the blame...
memories,
invade,
rattles my cage...

This hurt knows no end
my mind no longer can blend
with sanity, my cane
has shattered.

my soul shrunk to the point
where it became agoraphobic
morbid step
the last one,
clap -
applaud my empty shell
my body with no name -
and I shall bow.

This hurt knows no end
my mind no longer can blend
with sanity, my cane
has shattered.

No lights can shear this shade
that grew over my thoughts.
My eyes are hollow
my heart is heavy
I'm giving in now
my final smile; a smirk...
may be the first?
Not sure...

Which hurts worse, life or death?
Only the one's who have gone over the edge will ever know...  
"If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead."
-Layne Staley

holdempok

#1
March 02, 2010, 06:34:01 PM
you really have a talent of putting words together. this could be a great wrap song. well that was my first impression when reading it.
Why don't we do it on the road?

Oldrottenhead

#2
March 02, 2010, 06:41:30 PM
wow. how do you do this. when i come up with a lyric its either over someones tune or if no music is involved i have a tune rattling round my head. when there is no music even in my head, its a blank page and the words i write or type create a form or shape (too hard to explain) i have also experimented with burroughs and bowies style of cut n paste. ie writing done lots of stuff takiing the scissors too it and throwing it in the air and picking phrases words at random. this one looks a bit like that but bloody nora its good.
whit goes oan in ma heid



Jemima's
Kite

The
Bunkbeds

Honker

Nevermet

Longhair
Tigers

Oldrottenhead
"In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of."
- Robert Schumann

Maverick31

#3
March 03, 2010, 05:50:43 AM
Thanks guys, once again I appreciate the positive feedback.
"If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead."
-Layne Staley

bannybassman

#4
March 03, 2010, 01:51:34 PM
Great poem, as always!
Quote from: holdempok on March 02, 2010, 06:34:01 PMyou really have a talent of putting words together. this could be a great wrap song. well that was my first impression when reading it.
Hmm... a rap, I might try that!
"A guitarist spends half his life tuning, and the other half playing out of tune"

Maverick31

#5
March 03, 2010, 03:46:23 PM
Actually, rap is IMO the worst type of "music" there is. No offense to anyone who likes it, it's just not what I'm into. But if you feel like trying to make a "rap" song, I guess you can.
"If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead."
-Layne Staley

bannybassman

#6
March 04, 2010, 03:36:16 PM
not my fav either, but it does fit these words...
"A guitarist spends half his life tuning, and the other half playing out of tune"

Satchwood

#7
March 19, 2010, 03:54:25 PM
Deep writing Mav ~ i'm sure someone can write some music and use this ~ wow!
www.reverbnation.com/Satchwood
www.myspace.com/Satchwood
www.soundclick.com/Satchwood

"Sometimes It's Not How Fast You Move, But How Soon You Get There" - Bruce Lee

Tools: Kramer Strat, LP Deluxe, Avalon 12-string, Ibanez Bass, Yamaha Keyboard, Micro BR, Riffworks, Line 6 UX2, & a little Ableton & Audacity for grins :~)

OsCKilO

#8
March 19, 2010, 04:57:44 PM
there is no bad music Mav. . . .


just bad people who sing it. . .
recorder
Boss BR-80
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OsCKilO websites:  weebly.com  MySpace  SoundClick  ReverbNation
OsCKilO Albums:  "Masks"  "Easy London"

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OsCKilO

#9
March 19, 2010, 05:01:43 PM
Dont condem a genre bro. . . . 

you might miss some good stuff. . 

and rap is poetry. . .

Complex poetry.

 
recorder
Boss BR-80
recorder
Boss Micro BR
OsCKilO websites:  weebly.com  MySpace  SoundClick  ReverbNation
OsCKilO Albums:  "Masks"  "Easy London"

Also on Twitter for Live stuff..
Divert and sublimate your anger and potentially virulent emotions to creative energy

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